The Real Death Of Edward Masen
by Living with Edward
Summary: This story covers Edward's "rebellious years" when he left Carlisle to prey on humans.  But only the bad ones, so it's okay...he thinks.
1. Chapter 1

I was right. I knew I was right. He created me to be _this_, so that's what I was going to be. Why did I need to deny myself? To only keep his conscious free from guilt? That wasn't a problem I should have to deal with. He knew this, yet for ten years I lived by his rules—upheld his lifestyle. And what did I have to show for it? Nothing. I was exactly the same as I was ten years ago, and I would continue to be exactly the same. I would constantly crave human blood. There was nothing more in the entire universe that I would ever want more, yet I was to control that instinct for eternity so that I could lead a life full of guilt free suffering. How splendid was that?

The guilt I could live with. By all means, I was already guilty by association. Carlisle warned me of this guilt, saying that it was not something I would want to carry for eternity. But what did he know of it? He had never taken a human life.

But the guilt of murder would not pertain to me, for my actions could not be classified as murder—it would be justice. I would not take an innocent. I would know if my prey would be worthy of life. And in that, I found my calling. The purpose of my _gift_, as Carlisle called it. He was always too sanguine to see that it was truly a curse.

Hearing the thoughts of those who chose to take victims as a sick sport would allow me to make them the victim instead. I would be their judge, jury, and executioner. No longer would they be a liability to the people around them. As long as I resided in a city, murderers would not. My killing would be completely justified. It would not be taking lives, it would be saving them. Isn't that what Carlisle wanted? How could this be seen as so wrong?

Carlisle argued that we were not to play God, and should not have the power to decide who lives and who dies. It was not up to us to execute the human race at our choosing. However, no one was there to stop the lion from choosing his gazelle, or to stop the fox from choosing which rabbit he wanted to partake of. No one even dictated to any man which cattle he chose to slaughter. So, why should anyone be concerned with which human the vampire fed from? If God did create every being on this planet, as Carlisle believes, then he created the vampire. God himself gave us the instinct to drink human blood to give us life. God created us to be killers and hunters of the human race. Not obeying those instincts would be us playing God. If I was created by God to kill humans and I don't do it, then I would be an abomination of what he created. I knew I was right about this.

A new set of thoughts brought me out of my musings. She was young. That much was clear from her trifling thoughts. She was thinking about a boy. Of course she was—they all think about boys. She was contemplating on what kind of hair style, and what color dress, would aid in gaining his affections. I rolled my eyes. I would never understand human mating rituals. She was late in getting home, and her mother would be upset. She was taking a short cut, at night, alone. In short, she was stupid.

I tried to focus on what the girl was seeing rather than thinking. I had to locate her quickly, because I knew he wouldn't be far behind. He was watching her earlier tonight thinking of how she reminded him of his ex wife that left him twelve years ago. Seeing the resemblance in the young girl's features brought forth the emotional torment and rejection his wife had put him through when she decided that his sober brother would make a better husband and father. He hated the woman now, and wished that he could cause her a fraction of the pain she put him through. He wished that he could take the woman's life in turn for ruining his. After a few drinks, he decided that tonight he would settle for the life of the young girl—that she would be a good enough substitute. After all, the others were good enough, until another tall, blue-eyed, blond would catch his eye. He was more stupid than the girl.

Why would he not just take his own life if he was so miserable? He was nothing to society and yet he thought ridding the world of something precious that held so much potential was a suitable trade? Well, I guess that was the wrong that I was going to right.

And there again was my confliction. Was this about what was right and wrong, or was it me rationalizing my rebellious behavior, as Carlisle put it? I had starved myself for three weeks while I contemplated the new life I set out to live. I was now very irresponsibly, delirious with thirst. I didn't have more time to decide. The wretch would quickly be approaching the girl from where he stalked her. There was only one thing that I knew for sure: my feeding was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.

I watched through both their eyes to locate them as I moved along the streets. Thankfully, I wasn't far and could reach them while still appearing to be casually making my way home,—just as the other humans were. I wanted to reach him before he reached the girl. I didn't want her innocent mind to have to know of the evil that was stalking her tonight. Well, if I wanted to be fair, there were two evils stalking her, but at least one of them had good intentions.

Then the realization of what I was about to do finally set in. I was going to feed from a human. The taste of human blood would finally no longer be a mystery to me. I wasn't prepared for my reaction to this revelation. There was fear. There was excitement. There was anger. There was resentment. A whole plethora of emotions I couldn't place.

Why fear? What was there to be afraid of? I was a vampire for crying out loud! This should have felt completely natural.

The excitement, however, was exhilarating. The monster in me made it very well known how badly he wanted this—no— needed was more accurate. With that thought, everything else was pushed to the back of my mind. It didn't matter. All that mattered was the life running through the wretch's veins that would soon be mine. I would finally taste what I have deprived myself of for a decade. I wanted it. I wanted it immediately.

Someone walking by noticed my wild expression, catching my attention. I tried forcing myself to relax once again. However, the passerby's opinion of me being "creepy" alerted me that I may not have been so successful. I was shocked at the anger I felt at this. I was stalking my first human meal, and I had to be concerned with looking like a proper member of society, so that Mr. Judgmental could feel more at ease with my presence. Maybe I should have carried a sign that said "Unstable Vampire". Perhaps that would have lowered his expectations of my behavior and kept him from hindering my hunt. My hunt. I needed to focus on my hunt.

What was wrong with me? My erratic emotions had me behaving more of a newborn vampire rather than one who has practiced strict control for ten years. Perhaps that was my problem. Knowing that the monster was finally getting what it wanted after a decade of being caged was sending me into a tailspin. Focus. I needed focus. I wanted the blood.

The man was getting closer to his victim. I needed to catch up, because I didn't want him near her. He didn't deserve to even touch her for a moment, and I wouldn't allow it.

The girl rounded a corner at the end of the street, and the man picked up his pace. So did I. Just as he was about to make the same turn, I was behind him with a feral sound ripping from my throat. The man stopped immediately. The hairs stood erect on his neck, and his skin broke into a cold sweat. The monster was here and the man knew it.

I was going to do this. I was really doing this. There was no going back.

I grabbed the back of his brown jacket and pulled him into a nearby ally. I forcefully let go of the garment causing him to stumble to the ground. The adrenalin that was now joining his blood made his scent even more alluring. The monster hungrily breathed it in with a groan of satisfaction. Perhaps I should taunt him a bit more. It seems escalated fear brought on a more appealing scent. Maybe that also applied to taste.

His eyes then met mine. His thoughts were confused, having had no idea how he got on the ground, or how the sound he heard could have come from a boy that looked to be no older than his son, Benjamin, that he never sees.

The thought of his son almost stopped me. Could I steal someone's father? I had my father stolen from me. Could I cause someone that kind of pain?

"Where is your son, Benjamin? Where is he?" I demanded from him.

"Why the hell do you want to know that?" he countered defensively. Having no patience for his manner I crouched down in front of him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling until his face was inches from mine.

"I said where is he?" I snarled. The scent of him hit me like a battering ram with him being so close to me. I wanted to take him right there, but I couldn't without knowing if his son would miss him. I may have been a monster, but I was not completely heartless.

"With his mother," he quickly replied, seeing the danger imminent in front of him. His thoughts told me everything I wanted to know as memories flashed through his mind. He hadn't seen Benjamin since the day his wife left. The boy was four at the time and probably knew nothing of his father. The man will never forget the way his son looked that day with the bruises that littered his face and body. He remembered administering those bruises in a drunken stupor.

"What do you want?" the man asked.

He was a disgusting excuse for a man. Benjamin would certainly not be missing him. At that moment, I no longer saw a man—I saw a meal. I decided I wanted him to know as much when I answered him. Pulling him slightly closer to me I whispered into his ear, "Your blood."

The man immediately reacted as he tried to pull himself free from my grasp and push me away. His fear only spiked more when he was unsuccessful at doing so. The monster in me was enjoying the struggle and wanted to have more fun with the man. I let go of his shirt collar, and he clumsily got to his feet as fast as he could. Staying crouched to the ground, I watched as he looked at me one last time, registering my features. The pale skin, the black eyes—it was all so unnatural. He made a run for it down the alley.

Why on earth he went the opposite way of the more crowded street, I will never know. His thoughts were a jumble of fear, and his survival instinct was kicking in, but it seemed rational thought had eluded him. That must have been the hindrance of the alcohol. However, his foolish action made my job quite a bit easier.

I watched him run from me for a few seconds before the excitement of the chase forced me to go after him. In an instant I was in front of him, snarling like an animal. The monster was furious that his prey had tried to escape him, and would not tolerate it again.

Before I knew what I was doing, the man was thrown against the brick building that lined the alley. There was the sound of a light crack as he hit the ground. Pain registered in his mind permeating from his hips as he let out a strangled grunt. His pelvis had cracked. I smiled. I fucking smiled. The monster enjoyed the man's pain to the point of satisfaction. If only Carlisle could see me now. No, this was not the time to think of Carlisle! I already knew what he would say. I didn't need to waste any more time mulling over his beliefs.

Gaining back my focus, I was again stalking my prey. I paced in front of him like a caged lion with my teeth slightly bared, small growls emanating from my throat. I was stalling, but I wanted to answer the ongoing question in his mind of 'Why me?'. I wanted him to know the sins he was paying for tonight—to remember each life he stole. I wanted him to regret it, and I wanted him to feel the guilt that seemed to escape him with every bottle of scotch he drank.

I snarled as I bent down once again to meet his eyes. The fear that met me there was so intoxicatingly gratifying that I once more found myself smiling. The monster was enjoying the taunt. It was a type of foreplay to him.

"Perhaps the question you should be asking your self is why not you?" I suggested. "After all, is there anyone in this town that deserves what you are about to receive more than you do?"

"Fuck you!" he retorted trying to seem at least a semblance of intimidating. He then tried another feeble attempt at escape in his injured state. His meager crawling was quickly halted by my right hand slamming into the brick beside him, blocking his path. With eyes wide as saucers, he stared at my hand on the wall covering the multiple cracks the force of my blow inflicted on the brick. He turned his gaze slowly to meet mine wile panting in horror and pain.

"What are you?"

"The last creature that will ever see you alive," was my droll answer.

He then tried to then move in the other direction but my left hand instantly joined my right on the brick causing more cracking and destruction of the structure. I now had the man pinned to the wall. He had nowhere to go and was panicking.

"Please don't do this," he feebly pleaded. "Have mercy, please."

"Mercy? You want me to show _you_ mercy?" His begging had me livid.

"Do you think you deserve mercy after the torture you delivered to eight innocent young girls? Where was mercy on your list of priorities when you encountered them? Not to mention the ninth victim you were planning to take tonight!"

"No, I wasn't," he panted. It was a lie.

"You can't lie to me!" I yelled. Rage shot through me. I was so furious with this man. I had never felt this level of anger before. I didn't know where it came from. The only thing I did know was that I needed to end this man's life. I needed to quench my thirst and sate the monster.

My hands were now gripped into the lapels of his coat, lifting him to his feet roughly against the wall. He whimpered with the added pain when I heard yet another crack—it was a rib. Another smile spread across my face. I wanted him to feel pain.

The man was about to scream for help, but I couldn't have that. My hand reached for his throat on its own accord, blocking his air way. No sound escaped him. I tilted his head slightly with the hand that already grasped his neck, while the other held his body to the wall.

"Mercy will have no place with you tonight," I whispered with my teeth inches over the pulse point in his neck. It was now my breath that was coming quicker. Instinct was telling me to just tear into the flesh, consume with haste, but I wanted to savor the moment. I wanted to savor the taste. I didn't want that part to end so fast. I loosened my grip of the man's throat slightly, just enough to let some air through. Suffocation would not be his cause of death tonight.

Slowly, carefully, I lowered my lips to his neck. As soon as I came in contact with his skin, I let out a shuddering breath. The scent was amazing—I could almost taste him. The feel of his pulse against my lips was like an aphrodisiac to my senses.

The confusion of the man's thoughts as to what I was doing would have been comical if I wasn't so enamored of the aroma consuming my awareness. My lips pulled back, exposing his neck to my teeth. Slowly they pushed through the flesh with ease. My attention was caught by the registered pain in the man's thoughts. It turned out that being bitten in the neck by a vampire hurt like hell. Good.

My tongue then pushed into the puncture created by my teeth searching out the artery I was after. Once located, I wrapped my tongue around the vein pulling it into my mouth. The taste of this blood was beyond what I could even imagine. It was heavenly euphoric. I found myself moaning in gratification, and couldn't wait to truly drink of it. With that thought, my teeth cut into the artery causing the blood to pour into my mouth like a fountain. It was incredible. I swallowed the first pull of blood feeling it's affects on my body. It tingled all the way down to my dead stomach. I immediately felt it's life radiate through my whole body, to the length of all my limbs. I felt stronger, more complete. For the first time in ten years I felt like I was doing something right.

I sucked the next gulp down my throat, the feelings intensifying. _Holy shit, it was amazing._ I continued to pull at the vein trying to take my time—I never wanted it to end.

Pictures of people, lots of people, started to run through my mind. Certain faces were repeated but appeared in different ages. It didn't take me long to figure out I was seeing the man's memories. His family was on the fore front of his mind—the family that he would never see again.

He thought about his parents, how he failed them, and the shame they would feel if they knew the truth about him. He thought about his siblings. His sister used to swim in a creek with him when they were children, and he would swim around with her on his back while she was pretending he was her pet sea monster. Her name was Samantha—he loved her. He thought of his brother who used to race him down the street to his cousins house where they would all play together pretending to be army soldiers. He thought of how he knew his brother was a better man than him and deserved to be the husband of his wife and the father of his son.

He ached when he thought of the son he would never get to apologize to and make amends with. He wanted to make things right with his family. I winced at the sadness and emotional pain. I couldn't handle it, but I kept pulling at the blood. I needed it.

The images kept coming. Some were happy, some sad, and some murderous. I didn't want to see any of it. I just wanted to feed and be done with it. Why did he have to taint what was supposed to be the most enjoyable thing in the world for me.

Then it occurred to me that it would never be enjoyable. The taste, yes, would always be remarkable, and the feeling of real life only human blood could give, filling my body would always be the most incredible sensation. But the emotional torment would always be paramount. I was a hypocrite for calling this man, and the young girl he stalked, stupid. I was the stupid one. I was killing a man thinking it would solve the confusion of my existence. I was trying to find solace in murder!

I screamed angrily against the man's flesh as I took another pull of the blood. The anger and resentment I felt earlier were now at the fore front of my mind. But something else was creeping into my conscious. Guilt. Guilt over the fact that after all the bad this man has done, he will never get the chance to redeem himself. He desired to redeem himself, but he would never be made whole. The choice to repent was no longer his, as I was taking that away from him with every gulp of his blood I greedily took into my body.

After all the arguments with Carlisle, the dramatic scenes at which I displayed my resentment toward him, and the hurt and rejection I put him and his wife, Esme, through with my leaving, it turned out he was right. I couldn't handle the guilt. Damn it all to hell, he was right!

I gulped down another mouthful of the blood. _Oh God, the taste._ My body was radiating with the life in this blood. I had never experienced so much physical pleasure in my existence—I didn't know it was possible. There was no way in hell I could have stopped, even if I had wanted to. It was way too good. I needed this blood more than I needed anything.

The man's thoughts kept replaying his memories for me as if to taunt me. _Ugh, I hated this man!_ I wanted him to suffer.

The hand that was on the man's chest holding him to the wall, contracted, and shattered three of his ribs. He screamed out in pain, which made me feel better, but also made me feel worse. I needed more. His jaw was crushed under my other hand. The sound that emanated from his throat was horrifying, and I reveled in it. I continued to snap and crush his body while drinking and pulling at the blood hurriedly. I wanted him dead quick. I needed his mental musings to stop their torment.

His heart was finally slowing, his memories getting fuzzy and blurred. The supply of blood was dwindling, so I needed to savor the taste. It wouldn't last much longer, and would soon be gone. The man's body grew weaker and weaker. I was completely supporting him.

One last memory flashed through the man's eyes before his heart finally gave out. It was of his wife just as she was about to leave him. He was thinking how as horrible as the death that he was experiencing was, that moment was much worse. I crushed another bone. He would never forget her words to him and the effect they had on his life, and I would never forget how those words affected me.

It occurred to me that I didn't even know the man's name—I never cared to find out. The memory of his wife solved that mystery for me with her final words to him. Just before the man's heart beat its final beat, and the last pull of blood was through my lips, his wife's voice penetrated my mind saying, "You are dead to me, Edward."

I let go of the man with a gasp, and watched his broken mangled body fall to the ground. His wife's words were on repeat in my head—I couldn't stop it. He had done something so heinous, so unforgivable, that she considered him dead.

"You are dead to me, Edward."

My breathing picked up, and I started to panic. Is that what Carlisle and Esme would say if they ever saw me again and knew what I did? They would never forgive me for my actions tonight. I betrayed them. I might as well have just slapped them in their faces before I left, too. Oh, I was stupid. They would never again see me as their son. I would be a stranger to them—just a random murderer who threw away what little humanity he had, and for what? A decent meal? I was disgusting. I was no different than the man I killed tonight. I lost my family for my own selfish reasons, and took the anger I felt over it out on someone who had nothing to do with it. A man I didn't even know was dead, and I was a murderer.

I stared at the dead body I drained the life out of. _I killed a man_. I couldn't take it back—it was done.

I was angry again. It wasn't fair that this was what I had to be. I didn't choose this! The resentment was back. I picked up the body and threw it against the wall. It cracked, crunched, and bent in ways that should not be humanly possible. My anger was not placated, so I repeated the action again and again, until the body was no longer recognized as the form of that man it used to be. The sight was horrifyingly gruesome. His bones were shattered and protruding out of the shredded clothing and flesh. No one should ever be subjected to such a grotesque sight. The image burned itself into my memory making me shudder in revulsion. How could I have been capable of doing such a thing?

I ran. Like a coward, I ran. I needed to get away from him. I knew I needed to hide the body, but I couldn't look at him anymore.

"You are dead to me, Edward."

I kept hearing it. No matter how fast I ran, the voice followed me—I couldn't escape it. I just wanted to go home, but I no longer had a home. I was dead to that home and I couldn't go back.

Eventually, I found myself in a bordering forest. Oddly, the place held a semblance of comfort for me. I slowed to a walk, not in a hurry to be anywhere. I had nowhere to go.

"You are dead to me, Edward."

I winced. It kept reminding me of what I had done tonight. My hands roamed my face and gripped my hair, trying to force the memories out, but it wouldn't happen. It wouldn't change what I'd done. I killed him. I killed Edward.

It wasn't beyond me that irony seemed to find me at every turn in this existence of mine. In regards to me, it was true. Edward Masen was dead, and I had killed him. He didn't die of the flu or by the hands of Carlisle when he chose to save me, as he put it. I killed Edward Masen through my actions and decisions. I knowingly gave him up, presenting him as a burnt offering to the monster that now resided in me. Edward died along with what little humanity I had left, and now only a vampire existed in his place. That was what I was, and I had to accept it.

The sounds of a creek nearby interrupted my thoughts. I made my way over to it, thankful that I had somewhere to clean myself up. I still had the man's flesh between my teeth and his blood on my skin. I needed to be rid of him. I approached the creek bed, watching the moon light sparkle off the moving water. As I bent down to dip my hands, I caught my reflection in the surface. I hated what I saw, but strangely found comfort in it. My eyes were no longer the gentle tone of a golden hued brown. No, staring back at me were the red eyes of a vampire. I was a vampire. What I did tonight was normal; it was what I was created to do. The emotional torment was yet another perk of what I was. Occupational hazard, you could say. It was my cross to bear. If I had to relive each of my victims' pain along with them in their final moments, then that was just another aspect of the curse I carried. The guilt would always follow me. I had to live with it for I would always want and crave death. As long as the thirst…

And that was when I noticed it. I was too distracted by my childish tantrum to notice it before. The thirst was gone. The fiery pain that was always constant in my throat, which was only dully muted by the blood of animals, was completely gone. The burn was finally soothed. For the first time in ten years I rubbed at my throat feeling only comfort in the gesture. I sighed in relief.

I took that as my proof. If human blood was the cure for the thirst, then it was undoubtedly what we were meant to drink. I was right. Killing humans for their blood is what we were supposed to do. And to top it off, an innocent girl kept her life tonight. Who knows how many more victims that man named Edward would have taken in his lifetime? The world would never have to know. It was safe from one more murderer tonight. I was right.

While forcing myself to believe this, I dipped my hands in the water rinsing the dried blood and grime from myself. I watched as the red tinted water ran down my arms into the creek. The scent still permeated my senses and peaked my interest. I could still taste the blood in my mouth. The thought of it had me purring in satisfaction. I truly was an animal. I would never escape that. It's what Carlisle made me to be, and behaving as anything other was truly ridiculous. I refused to live in such denial any longer. I took comfort in believing that I was right.


	2. Chapter 2

After a decade of being a vampire, I thought that I knew everything there was to know about our nature and behavior. But as it turned out, a vampire that lives a life of denial and control cannot completely comprehend all that our existence entails.

I had come a long way since the first time I took a human life five months ago. I had since killed twenty two more men, all of them undeserving of the term man. The killing became easier but the guilt was still there when my victim's last thoughts ran through their mind. I tried to ignore those thoughts by searching out other minds in the area around me and concentrating on them, but it didn't always work. The emotional pain would always find a way to torment me. However, it still wasn't enough to make me stop living the life of a nomadic murderer.

The burn of my thirst was finally soothed and I actually found it easier to be around humans at times. Not to mention the taste of the blood—I would not be able to give that up for anything. The words needed to describe the ecstasy that only human blood gave did not exist. The monster was sated and he could be contained more easily now. That is until I started to grow thirsty again—then I was almost just as wild as a newborn. I became crazed over blood. So much so that I would just react on instinct trying to find it, rather than being the meticulous planner that I had been before. I had to kill twice as often as I did when I hunted animals to keep myself well fed, or the consequences of my actions could be catastrophic. I would not allow myself to kill an innocent—not even by accident.

If I wanted to be honest with myself, this lifestyle was hard and trying. But it's what I was purposed to do—what I was meant to live with. If it wasn't my purpose, I would have died in a hospital ten years ago and not have been turned into this thing that I am.

I needed to keep living this way. If I didn't, my only other option would be to go back to Carlisle, and that was not going to happen. If I were to pay him a visit it would only be to let him know I was right. I may have been perpetually seventeen, but I did know a thing or two.

I always thought I knew everything. No one could ever convince me I was wrong no matter how convoluted my decision making could be—not even my father the lawyer. My mother always said I inherited his stubbornness, to which I would retort that it wasn't being stubborn if I knew I was right. Then she would playfully slap me upside my head and tell me to go study. She thought that if she could make me concentrate on things, like history, economics, and law, I would realize that becoming a soldier in our first world war was the least interesting thing I could do with my life. Mother obviously forgot who she was dealing with. I was adamant about that path, certain it was my purpose. The only thing that could make me think twice about that decision was not being able to fight off the influenza. Learning that my destiny was just to die on a cot in a crowded hospital was just what I needed to get some clarity on priorities, but by then it was too late. As far as I knew, I would not be able choose another path—to set my parents minds' at ease with my choices. They were already gone, and would never have to see me die. They were lucky.

The ironic thing was that even through that learning experience, ten years as an immortal has not changed the way I think at all. I was still the arrogant child I was as a human. The only difference was the horrific things I have witnessed—not to mention the horrific things I have done—things I didn't know I was capable of and thought only the worst of our kind did.

When I left Esme and Carlisle, I was only filled with thoughts of what I would be doing, who I would be feeding from, and the places I would get to travel. I never took into consideration the monster I would become or how much this lifestyle would change me.

Carlisle said it was the blood. Our choice of drink could influence the course of our nature. For instance, animal blood made us more amicable with each other. It's the reason we can easily form bonds and relationships with others of our kind and humans. I wasn't sure I believed him at first. I thought that was just Carlisle—calm and compassionate. It would be in his nature to modestly rationalize that the good in him was a result of his diet and not his general sense of being. His theory would then suggest that feeding a lion a sole diet of vegetables would cause the lion to be able to take a lamb as his companion. That was just out right lunacy. A lion would never be able to resist the temptation of the lamb, especially if it had been starved of such a delicacy.

But now, I know that Carlisle had been right. Human blood had changed me. I see things differently. I think differently. I behave differently. My emotions are harder to contain. Sometimes I wonder what Carlisle would be like if he fed from humans. Would the blood change him as much as it changed me? Would he become a blood thirsty killer? I honestly doubted that. I was sure that Carlisle would still find a way to kill calmly and diplomatically. I chuckled at the thought.

I needed to stop thinking of Carlisle. He was starting to invade my thoughts almost too regularly now. While five months is by no means a lengthy amount of time to our kind, it is a long time, for anyone, to be alone. I missed my family. Remembering Esme caused me much pain. I tried very hard not to think about the woman who tried to be a mother to me—she not only tried, she succeeded. The amount of love that woman could bestow on someone was staggering. It was impossible not to be enamored of her.

_No_. I needed to stop this train of thought, for only caused pain. I no longer had a family.

Carlisle and Esme had told me that I could come back any time, but I didn't think they realized who they would be welcoming back into their home—certainly not the same boy who left. Family was no longer an option for me.

At the moment, my only companion was the dead body that I had just unceremoniously dropped next to my feet. His body had hit the sand with a sickening thud. I had just drained him seven minutes earlier in an alley in Brooklyn, and then carried him down to Brighton Beach for his disposal. I had found a shipwreck two months ago that was a couple miles off the coast and served as a perfect place to hide the missing dregs of society.

I looked down at my most recent victim, remembering what I was supposed to be doing. The task at hand was surely not to stare off into the ocean brooding over the further loss of my humanity at two in the morning, in the middle of March.

With a sigh, I bent down to see what useful things were in the man's pockets. Yes, not only was I a killer, but I was also a thief. Using my parents' inheritance money to support this lifestyle seemed wrong to me, so all the money just sat in different banks and investments until I decided what I wanted to do with it. Anyway, I found it more of a poetic justice that those I fed from would not only sustain my existence, but also sustain me financially—and that they did. So far, my victims have paid for my loft in Soho for the past three months, clothing, books, tickets to various plays, concerts, films, and whatever else I could possibly need or want. While living in New York City, I have found myself searching for more wealthy prey that would uphold my new lifestyle. If there was one thing I learned from Carlisle, it was that it could take a lot of money to appear invisible. If I wanted to hide amongst humans, I had to appear to be one.

I started with the pockets of the suit jacket the man wore. The side pockets produced cigarettes, a book of matches, and a hotel key. He was in town for a short amount of time on what he considered business. Unfortunately for him, attempting to murder his own brother so that he coldn't be listed as the beneficiary of their father's estate was not only _not_ business, but would also get you killed by a vigilante, mind reading vampire.

I decided to keep the hotel key. I would inspect his room later.

The cigarettes and matches were of no use to me—I tossed them aside. The inside breast pocket contained a dinner receipt and a pen—useless. I moved on to the pants pockets where the only item was the man's wallet. I had been following him all night, so I already knew how much money he had in it from when he paid for his dinner, and then later when he paid a prostitute. Waiting for that, uh, transaction to be completed may have been the longest thirty minutes of my life. I spent the entire time hoping that he wouldn't find any other ways to spend the remaining four hundred forty two dollars he had left before I could get him alone. Anyone who was stupid enough to carry that amount of cash on them, especially in Brooklyn, surely had much more to spare located elsewhere. I was hoping that there would be more in his hotel room. I stuffed the cash in my own jacket pocket and replaced his wallet.

The only thing left to do was to hide the body. With a sigh, I removed my jacket and my shoes—I didn't revel in visiting my little under water grave yard. I then took off my shirt and lightly wrapped it around my jacket and shoes. To keep the small bundle hidden, I buried it in the sand in case there would be some late night beach walkers. Then, picking up the body and tucking it under my arm, I trudged into the ocean.

Swimming at night was a surreal experience. I tried to only kill on a night when the moon was bright to increase the underwater visibility, which still wasn't great. Having my sense of smell cut off completely joined with only partial eyesight was very discomforting, but I was getting used to it. This would be the ninth time I carried a body down to the shipwreck.

I always marveled at the things that I would see on this trip. Being this close to marine life was extremely fascinating for me. I hoped to come across a large Great White shark one day so I could see just how strong those jaws really were.

The outline of the large boat was coming into view. I slowed down as I approached the hull, searching for the gaping hole in the side. After locating it, I swam into the ship, maneuvering carefully around the different rooms. This part was a bit difficult. Hardly any moon light got down this far under the water, let alone into the ship. I first found the wreck during the afternoon on a recreational swim trying to escape the thousands of minds I could constantly hear in the city. I had no trouble seeing any of the details then. However, at night it was difficult, but not impossible. I continued through the ship's confines until I located the boiler room.

Numerous heavy pipes ran through the room that were perfect for tying the bodies to. There were also many chains lying around the ship that I had previously gathered and left slung around one of the pipes for using to secure each body.

I set the dead man against one of the unoccupied pipes while I broke a long piece of the chain from the rest of the bundle, and started wrapping it around the man and the pipe. I hated this part. _I hated it_. Doing this made me feel like more of a monster than the actual act of drinking from these wretches—that felt normal. It was in my nature—I was drawn to do it. But this is watching the consequences of what I am. In here I could see the amount of death I caused piling up in the past two months that I have been hiding the dead here. I didn't like to look around this room—I usually kept my eyes averted from my previous victims. The sight was too horrid with each body in a different state of decay, and moving softly with the current of the water, making them still look alive. It was truly grotesque. I felt more like the seventeen year old boy who should be frightened of such images rather than the vampire that I was. I silently scoffed at myself for my ignorance. I was a vampire_. Vam-pire!_ This was normal. When would I truly learn that?

I quickly made sure the chain was securely around the body so I could get out of there. Once I was sure the binding was fastened properly I was ready to leave. As I was about to turn for the exit, something caught my attention, and I froze—something was different. Could I be seeing what I thought I was seeing, or was my mind playing tricks on me? Was I finally going crazy from this insane life I was living?

I looked around again to take inventory of the room's occupants. Nine. I should have had nine bodies there, but I counted eleven. That was impossible. There was surely no way I could have killed, hid the body, and forgot about it. How the hell could there be two more bodies?

I swam closer to the two I did not remember bringing here. As I got closer, I saw that they were women, and I had never killed a woman—I hadn't found one with vile murderous plans. There was no way I had put them there.

I was now close enough to see some detail. Both bodies were nude, had their throats torn out, and were littered with bruises. I couldn't believe how badly they were beaten. They both had very similar injuries—especially on the pelvis. It looked like their hip bones had been crushed. I shuddered. If I was still human, I would have vomited when I realized the severity of torture these girls had endured. To say that I was beyond disgusted would be a vast understatement.

The last time I was here was a week ago, but judging the bodies' state of decay, I would say that they had been there for three or four days.

Another vampire was in New York City, not only was he in the city, but he was watching me. And not only was he watching me, but he was fucking with me! The revelation sparked anger in me that I didn't know I had. _How dare he?_ My life was none of his business, yet he was stalking me with only God knows what plans for me. He could have been planning to kill me because I have been hunting in his territory and wouldn't even have known it. How could I not have noticed his thoughts, or his scent? It has been five months since I've seen another immortal, and I've already grown ignorant of their existence. I needed to get my act together—I still had so much to learn. I was livid at this point, and needed to plan.

I exited the ship, and swam back toward the beach. As I neared the surface, I paused, remaining perfectly still under the cover of the water to listen. I concentrated solely on my gift to open up as many minds as possible to me. I could hear everyone who was within about a mile of me, so since I'm near Brooklyn, that would only be thousands of voices. It was maddening. How could I expect to hear one lone vampire? His mind would sound more complex than that of a human, so at least there was something identifying to search for.

After about ten minutes, I had found nothing. If he was near me, I'm sure I would have detected something. I gave one last listen to see if anyone was on the beach to make sure it was safe to emerge from the water.

I quickly went to where I had buried my clothes. Thankfully, there was no lingering scent of another vampire in the area, which meant the vampire was not here, or he was planning a more elaborate introduction. I put on my shoes, shirt, and jacket, making sure that the cash and hotel key were safe inside my pocket. I started to walk back toward the city when I saw the match book and cigarettes I had tossed away on the ground. The matches no longer looked useless to me, so I grabbed them and put them in my pocket, too. I made a mental note to have them with me at all times.

I started the walk back to Brooklyn. I ran through the streets and alley ways, running up over roof tops where the streets were more crowded. I kept mindful of all the thoughts I could as I passed through the city—I had no idea what this vampire could be thinking. He seemed to have a bit of flair for the dramatic, not to mention his love of torture. _Oh god, what did he have planned for me?_

I continued running toward the Brooklyn Bridge. Something told me to just keep going—go west, and get out of the city, because I was no longer safe there. If I went back to Carlisle, he could keep me safe. _No!_ I didn't need Carlisle to take care of me—I could do that myself. I shouldn't have to leave the city, for crying out loud. I had been there for three months, and I had not been in another immortal's way. I loved being in the city, and I had every right to stay. If an over-theatrical, territorial vampire wanted to come after me, then let him. Carlisle taught me how to fight, and had learned from the best, so I should have had no problems defeating another.

I was now across the bridge, and in Manhattan, making my way back to my loft in Soho. I slowed my run to a walk. I needed to figure this vampire out. Perhaps he wasn't malicious, and was just curious. After all, this is a lonely existence and he might view me as an opportunity for a companion, or maybe he saw that I had a great place for hiding my victims, and wanted to utilize it, too. I shouldn't have necessarily jumped to the most wicked conclusion.

I was almost to my building, and couldn't wait to be in the confines of my home—I felt at peace there. It was a small building with an empty warehouse on the bottom two floors, and my loft on the third. I rented the whole building from my landlord to ensure that I was the only occupant, and was thrilled that I was able to find a place in the city where I didn't have to hide what I was.

I was only a block away when I smelled it—vampire. He had been here. The scent was fresh—probably only an hour or so old. It led straight to my building, so I stopped to listen for his mind. Perhaps the city was not the best place for me—there were far too many voices to sift through.

Once I was sure he wasn't there, I went inside and up the stairs. The scent was strong on the second floor, but his scent was not the only one there—it was accompanied with the scent of a human. He had brought someone there. A window in the stairwell was left open, and it was obvious that was what he used as his entrance and exit.

Before I made it up to the third floor I realized the human was still there. I hadn't realized outside that this voice was coming from my loft. I now heard the heartbeat and the frightened thoughts coming from the person's mind. _What the hell was going on?_

I listened to the voice for a moment. The human was female, bound, gagged, blind folded, and scared out of her mind. All she knew was that she was waiting for someone to come for her. The vampire had a very disgusting mind, and I was sure I was not going to enjoy meeting him.

I ran the rest of the way, just wanting to free the girl and get her home safely. There was a note on the door. Of course there was—dramatic freak.

Sorry to have missed you. I hope you enjoyed your swim.

I have brought you something. She should prove to be a lot more

fun than your other choice of prey. Consider it a house warming gift.

Welcome to the city. I will be seeing you soon.

If he knew I was out for a swim, as he said, then he knew I wouldn't be there, and he was not sorry to have missed me. He had planned for me to not be there. And how dare he bring me this innocent girl to have my way with—calling her a gift. He knew where I was; therefore he knew I had just fed. Why would he bring me this girl now? It had to be some sort of test. He noticed the type of people I chose to feed from and he was trying to figure me out—e was looking for a weakness. Well, he was going to look for a long time, because I sure as hell was not going to show him one.

It seemed my new friend liked to play games—I could play games if he wanted to. He obviously didn't know what he was dealing with when commencing in such an activity with me—he didn't know the upper hand I would carry in being able to beat him at his game. There was one thing that was certain; I was going to make sure that he regretted his decision to mess with Edward Ma… Cul...I sighed. Me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

I stood outside the door to my loft planning on how I would deal with the precarious situation that seemed to have found me. So far, I knew that a vampire was following me—watching me—possibly looking for weaknesses to use against me. I didn't know much about him, other than he possibly suffered from a severe case of boredom. It was imperative that he learned even less about me. I was certain that I didn't want him to be aware of my mind reading ability, because was the only upper hand I had; loosing it could prove to be troublesome. Being very cautious of my behavior and making sure my actions did not give away my sixth sense were paramount. He could be watching or listening at any time. _Hell, he could be listening now to see what I would do with his "gift"._ Therefore, I had to make sure that the young girl, who was being held captive in my sitting room, would also not be made privy to my extra ability.

Dealing with the girl was going to be difficult. I had to first put her mind at ease, letting her know that she was in no danger from me. Then I had to get as much information as I could in regard to the vampire who captured her and everything she may have been subjected to about our existence. I also had to return her to her home with no one being suspicious of her disappearance, and also make sure that she would not say anything to anyone about everything she experienced tonight. _Holy hell, I wonder if vampires can have aneurisms. _

Or I could just run. I could leave the city and no one would be the wiser of my involvement in the girl's kidnapping, but that would leave her fate in the wrong hands. Undoubtedly, the vampire would come back for her and he would use her the same way he did the other two victims he had discarded in the sunken ship. Her death would be caused by the mere fact that I existed. If it wasn't for me, she would never have been brought into this situation. I would not allow myself to be responsible for her death; I had to figure this all out and keep her safe.

I took the note that adorned my front door. It was written on heavy expensive paper and was embossed with an intricate monogram of the letter M. I had seen this monogram before; it belonged to the Montgomery family, who was extremely wealthy and very well known in Manhattan. The vampire had either stolen the paper, or the girl in my loft was a Montgomery. If that was the case, this was going to be even harder than I originally thought. No doubt, someone would already be looking for her and the authorities would have been contacted.

I stuffed the note in my pocket and entered the loft, seething at the sight before me. Not only was the girl part of the Montgomery family, she was Anna Beth Montgomery, twenty year old daughter of Richard Montgomery III, who just happened to be funding all the new hotels and apartment complexes being built in the Upper East Side with the enormous profits he made from owning half the banks in New York City. Two of the men that I had killed in the past month happened to be plotting his murder. I found it strange that when someone had money, they seemed to be worth more dead than alive. The world we lived in was truly backwards.

Anna Beth had more to her credit than just being the most sought after debutant in Manhattan—far from it actually. Anna Beth had just been recently engaged to Nathan Burns, the mayor's son.

I hated this vampire. What was he thinking involving someone so well known in his little game? News about her disappearance would be all over the city. After I got her home she would tell everyone about what happened to her, leaving both her life and mine in danger if the Volturi would find out about it. If any other vampire were in this situation, they would just kill the girl and hide her body. It would be the safest and most logical option, but it was not an option for me. I couldn't let her die; I had to figure a way out of this. I guess that was the show the vampire was looking forward to. He was testing me—trying to figure out my motives. My new friend would not be winning this game—no way in hell. And he would learn about my motives when he burned in a pyre of ashes after I tortuously ripped him apart bit by disgusting bit.

Anna Beth startled at my entrance, fear overtaking her. I took in her disheveled appearance as she sat shivering on my floor—tied to the radiator—gagged and blindfolded. I thanked God that I didn't have my heat on, or she would have been badly burned. She was obviously stolen from her bed seeing as she was still wearing a night gown that left little to the imagination. Judging by the rips in her garment, I would say that the vampire had experienced some resistance from Anna when bringing her here. I immediately went to my closet to retrieve a shirt for her to cover herself with, hoping to help make her more comfortable.

I came back to the sitting room, and crouched down in front of Anna to untie her hands from the radiator. I still had yet to speak to her. I needed to be calm and soft toward her, but with the amount of anger I felt right now, I did not trust my voice to not sound harsh. As I untied the bindings, which turned out to be some of her own scarves—probably also stolen from her room—I tried to calm myself so I could act the part of a charming and caring stranger.

After her hands were freed, I draped the shirt around her back and tried to guide her hand into the sleeve. Anna squirmed and whimpered at my cold touch, thinking I was the same person who had brought her here.

"Shh, it's okay. I promise I won't hurt you," I said in my most charming voice. Hearing that my voice was different from her captor's, Anna settled considerably allowing me to tug the shirt sleeves up her arms. After buttoning the front of the garment, I reached to untie the scarf that was covering her eyes—trying to be gentle, as to not scare her or cause her any pain. The blindfold dropped revealing me to Anna. Even in her heightened state of fear she managed to gawk at me a bit. Apparently I wasn't what she was expecting. In her mind I was too cute to do the evil things she was told I would be doing with her, but that didn't keep her from believing that I wasn't capable of them; she didn't trust the inhuman, red eyes that stared back at her.

There were some fresh tears that had started to run down Anna's cheeks, so I lightly dabbed them away with the scarf, and gave her a small reassuring smile. Her thoughts were running rampant with everything that had gone on tonight, and it was hard for me to get a clear picture of the vampire, how had he gotten her here, and what he had told her. I needed to calm her quickly to get the information I needed.

"I promised that I would not hurt you and I meant it," I started to explain. "I'm not like the man that brought you here." Anna's heartbeat sped at the mention of the vampire in question. Her thoughts once again filled with fear of the unknown. She just wanted to be back at home, safe in her bed.

"I'm going to help get you home, but before I do that I need your help. I need you to tell me everything about the man who brought you here. I need to know what he looked like and anything he told you. I don't know him personally, and I'm going to need to find him if I'm going to keep you safe.

Anna was cautious of what I was telling her but seemed to believe me. She was falling for the charming demeanor as her captor was not anywhere as near delicate with her.

"I'm going to remove the gag that monster placed on you, but you have to promise me not to scream. Can you do that? Please don't scream; I just couldn't bear it." I may have been laying it on a bit thick, but she was eating it up. She nodded her head in agreement, her thoughts in accordance with her actions. I gave her another small reassuring smile—she seemed to like those.

I reached behind Anna's head to untie the gag and let it fall to the floor. She let out a relieved breath, thankful that she could now breathe freely.

"There, is that better? Are you all right?" I asked her with a concerned look on my face, but I was not prepared for her reaction. More quickly than I had ever seen any human move, she lunged at me with her arms locking around my neck and her face buried in my shoulder, while her body was racking with sobs. _Perhaps I was a bit too charming_.

While Anna was having an emotional breakdown from the trauma of the night, the monster in me was reeling. Anna's neck was pressed against my face, with her pulse directly under my chin, taunting me with its erotic rhythm. She had a glorious scent that was so tempting, and right there for my taking. The burn in my throat started to return, even though I had just fed not even two hours ago. The monster badly wanted her blood; he craved it as if he would never drink again. I could only imagine what she would taste like—her body so warm and inviting. I could feel her blood moving through her veins every place our bodies touched. I was losing it, and I needed to regain control of myself. _When did I become so much of an animal?_ I hadn't been this weak with my control since my erratic newborn years.

I was sitting with my fists firmly planted on the floor when Anna tightened her grip on me. _Good lord, did she want to die?_ Her behavior was not helpful to what I needed to accomplish; I needed to calm her down, and fast.

With one last breath, I cut off my sense of smell, and lightly tried to put my arms around Anna. I didn't know how much pressure to apply without hurting her, so I'm pretty certain my gesture seemed more awkward than comforting. Trying not to dwell on her scent and blood, I centered my focus on her rapid thoughts that were showing glimpses into her evening. I got a fairly good image of my new adversary. Unfortunately, Anna didn't get to see his features in detail since her room was dark and she was quickly blindfolded. He looked older than I expected—most likely in his late thirties when he was changed. His short black hair was artfully slicked back, adding an eerie quality to his all black state of dress. His appearance screamed vampire. If I didn't know any better, I would say that he was Bram Stoker's biggest fan.

Seeing Anna's memories of the night fueled my anger more. Her captor was a monster in every sense of the word with how he roughly grabbed, blindfolded, and gagged her. He flew with her out her bedroom window that was five floors off the ground and was careless with her the whole way here, not caring about any of the pain that he had inflicted on her—not to mention the horrid things he told her as he tied her to my radiator—the things he told her I would do. She was expecting to be raped to death when I came home. I shuddered. I couldn't even fathom…

Anna stilled in my arms, suddenly fearful of me. Slight pain registered in her mind around her ribs, while she tried to rationalize the inhuman sound that started to rumble from my chest. _Shit!_ I was holding her too tight _and_ growling. Perfect. My anger needed to be controlled if I was going to get Anna to trust me.

"I'm sorry," I stated as I loosened my grip, and attempted to rub soothing circles on her back. "I'm not angry with you, I swear. But the man who did this to you will pay for his actions; I will be sure of it." I tried to say this calmly and compassionately, and not with the vengeful rage that I felt. Anna, once again, began to relax.

I was not sure how much longer I could stand to have her in my arms. Vampires were not meant to cuddle humans, and at the moment I was properly being schooled as to why that was. I tried to think of another way to comfort Anna that would not end in me killing her—that was something I truly could not bear.

I pulled back a bit and reached my hands to Anna's cheeks to wipe her tears from her face. Her gaze fell to the floor in embarrassment at her behavior.

"Look at me," I commanded softly, lifting her eyes to my face. "It's over, okay? All of it. You are safe here with me. I promise not to let anything happen to you."

Anna's breath hitched at my admission along with an increased speed in her heart rate. I would have been concerned if it wasn't for the dilation of her pupils. Of course, her thoughts also gave away what she thought of me after hearing my pledge to guard her life. No woman could resist the charms of a vampire, and right now I was grateful for that.

I stood from my spot on the floor, offering my hands to help Anna up, and then led her to the couch so she could finally sit comfortably.

"Thank you for the shirt," Anna said carefully. "I'm sorry about—"

"Don't be," I interrupted, taking a seat across the couch. "You did nothing to warrant an apology."

Anna looked down to her lap not sure of what else to say. She had so many questions about what happened tonight and why she specifically was involved. I realized if I was going to get her to comply with my wishes then I was going to have to get her to trust me, and that meant answering her questions as honestly as possible.

"I'm sorry that you were involved in all this," I started. "I had no idea that this was going to happen." I ran my hand through my hair for dramatic effect. "I really don't know what to say. There is nothing I can do to make this better." I looked down and away from Anna with a look of shame on my face. Her thoughts revealed that my actions gave me the desired effect; she felt pity for me. Humans were so easy to manipulate.

"You already have made it better with your kindness. Thank you for that. I'm Anna, by the way." She said, trying to make _me_ feel more at ease now. This was far too easy.

"I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are, Miss Montgomery," I lightly teased. She blushed slightly at my exaggerated attempt at formalities.

"Please call me Anna. Only people who follow me around with their noses up my ass call me Miss Montgomery."

I laughed, not expecting her reply. She had some fire in her. "Well then, for proprieties' sake, I will only call you Anna. I do not wish to follow you around in such a way."

She giggled at my joke trying not to picture such an absurd sight, which then had her blushing again. She then remembered the things she wanted to know.

"What exactly am I involved in now? You said you never met that man personally, so why would he do something like this? Does he want money from my father? Or does this have something to do with the mayor?"

"Honestly, this has nothing to do with you. All of this is because of me," I answered.

"But why me specifically if he could have chosen anyone? I highly doubt it's coincidental."

"You're right, it's not. I don't know the details of his plan, but I assume he chose you to cause the most amount of trouble for me. I'm sure the consequences of aiding in the kidnapping of Anna Beth Montgomery are not slight. I assume I will be greatly punished for this," I explained, trying to look sorrowful.

"What? No! That won't happen to you; I swear it. You didn't aid in anything. None of it was your idea, and I will make sure everyone knows that." Again, she was trying to comfort me. _I should really audition for the next Broadway play. _

"Anna, did he say anything to you that you think could help me? Perhaps give you a name?"

"No, no name. He only told me what…um…what you were going to do…when you got home. He said that you would…that I was to be…" she tried to explain shyly.

"You don't have to say it. I understand," I said as a look of relief came over her features.

"Why did he expect you to do that? You don't seem the type that would…behave that way."

"He just doesn't know me well, is all. I'm not the kind of person that he assumes me to be."

"Why are your eyes red?" Anna blanched at her own rudeness. She didn't mean to ask that question, but her curiosity had made her lose control of her tongue. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to—"

"It's fine." I waved off her apology. "Most people are curious. The irises just lack pigment—nothing to be worried about." It was sort of true.

"Oh."

"Anna, I need you to do me a favor." It was now time for the hard part; trying to convince her to keep her mouth shut. I moved closer to her and looked at her imploringly through my lashes—the way that can make a girl forget her own name.

"Anything—I owe you my life." _Holy hell, this was too easy_.

"It is safer for both of us if you don't tell anyone exactly what happened tonight, because it is more likely to put someone in danger if they know. I told you that I would take care of the man that brought you here, and I will; you don't have to worry about that. I know your father is a powerful man and has people who can find justice, but they will be powerless in this situation."

"You're going to kill him? All by yourself?" She was now worried for my safety.

"Yes, I am more than capable, but I need you to trust me. This is the only way to keep you safe. I cannot promise that this man will not come after you again, and if your father and fiancé have any suspicions that you have been put in any danger, they will be at risk of also being hurt or killed. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you or your family. It is safer for everyone if no one knows what happened tonight. Can you please promise me that you will not say anything, even of your abduction?"

"But how will I get back home in the morning without being seen? I can't quite waltz into my house with the way I'm dressed—and no shoes—pretending that I had gone out that way," Anna argued.

That was a problem, and I had a solution, but was reluctant to utilize it. Anna had already been exposed to the supernatural tonight when the vampire ran with her here, so I didn't want to expose her any more. But it seemed it was the only way to keep this quiet; I didn't have a choice.

"Tell me, will there be anyone awake in your house at this hour of the morning?"

"No—not that I know of."

"So is it safe to assume that no one would yet know you are missing?"

"Most likely; no one comes into my room in the night, and I never had the chance to scream, so I doubt anyone heard anything go on."

"I can get you back to your room with no one seeing. No one will have to know you were ever gone."

Confusion framed Anna's face."Not possible. The front door is guarded; we can't just walk in. So, even if you did get me home, how would you get me back up to my room without being noticed?"

"The same way you were brought out." Anna gasped and moved away from me slightly, her thoughts revealing that she was starting to distrust me. She didn't like that I was asking her to keep quiet. People who hide truths are not in her realm of trust. She was also remembering her trip here, and didn't understand how it was possible to feel like she was flying. It made her even more scared of the vampire who took her. No one should be able to move like that, especially after leaping from a fifth floor window, and the thought of me being able to perform the same feat made her feel a bit wary of me.

"Anna, please, you have to trust me. There are things that I can't tell you, but it's not because I need to hide them, but because it's not safe for you to know. If your well being was not in question I would tell you everything I could about the man who took you tonight, and about myself, but you would be in harm's way if I did. I can't knowingly put you in that kind of danger. It is the same reason I am begging for your silence. If something bad would happen to you, or anyone in your family, I would carry that on my conscience for the rest of my life. Please, I am begging you Anna; I need you to trust me. You need you to trust me." I fixed my features with a look of desperation. If she would not trust me now, I would probably have to knock her unconscious to get her home. I didn't trust myself to do that without causing injury, or I may have done it earlier.

Anna took a moment to process all that I had told her. "Okay," she quietly agreed.

I gave her a genuine smile and sighed. "Thank you." Again her pupils dilated and her heart rate sped as she thought of how handsome I was. I repressed a laugh.

I offered Anna my hand as I stood. "Come, let's get you home." She took my hand and I led her out the door and down the stairs until we were outside. The city was dark and, for the most part, quiet. Running with Anna through the streets without being seen should be easy at this time of night. "Uh, I'm going to have to carry you."

"Yes, I remember." Anna put her arms around my neck as I scooped her up into my arms. Again, I was met with the closeness of her neck and warm body thrumming against mine. This trip was going to be torturous.

"Are you ready, Miss Montgomery?" I asked playfully, imitating a pretentious aristocrat with a bad English accent, trying to ease her fears.

"No," she replied laughing.

"It may help if you close your eyes," I offered.

Anna took a deep breath then squeezed her eyes shut. I chuckled at her display and surprisingly she joined me. It felt nice to laugh with someone.

Once I realized the dangerous train of thought I was on, I took off down the street to the Upper East Side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I own a bracelet that says Stupid Lamb on it. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Taking off on a run at full speed while carrying a human felt immeasurably wrong. I was so accustomed to hide anything supernatural about myself, and here I was, blatantly showing someone this unnatural side of me. I truly hoped that I wasn't making the wrong decision, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. It was the only way to get Anna home and back in her room without anyone else knowing that she was gone.

Anna was tightly gripping my neck and burying her face in my shoulder, her long hair whipping out behind us. After two trips like this tonight, she decided that being carried at a fast, inhuman rate of speed by beings that looked human, but could do things no human could, was not her favorite way to travel—especially in cold temperatures, in the middle of the night, while wearing very little clothing. I mentally berated myself for not thinking of her comfort and hoped that she would not fall ill. Memories from my last days as a human came to my mind as I imagined Anna sick with a respiratory infection or even the flu, and I shuddered—I wished sickness on no one.

Damn, I should have, at the least, grabbed her a jacket. I should have given her mine, but I could not afford to lose the contents in my pocket. Becoming extremely protective of my possessions and resources was an instinct that was surprisingly heightened from this lifestyle.

Anna was a freezing mess with her teeth chattering and her body shivering. Being pressed up against my cold body was no help, either. Not only was she cold, but she was scared—very scared.

A large part of me knew just how to put Anna out of her misery. After all, her luscious throat was only a few inches from my mouth. I only had to turn my head. Her erratic heart rate and increased adrenaline had my mouth watering so intensely, that if I were human, I would have probably drowned. Perhaps the next time I carry a human, my back would be a more suitable placement for easing temptation. However, the idea of a next time was completely absurd. There was no way I would ever allow the need to transport a live human ever happen again.

I wish I could have just cut off my sense of smell, but I had to be aware of all the scents around me. I needed to know if Dracula was anywhere nearby. That new endearment would have to do until I learned his real name. He would probably see it as a complement anyway. I could picture him lurking around in a high collared silk cape, using it to shield all his features except his eyes.

"Are w-we almost th-there?" Anna stuttered from the cold, pulling me from my ridiculous imaginings. Sometimes I truly had the mind of a child.

"Just a few more minutes," I promised, and I gripped her slightly harder, not that it would help, but I didn't know what else to do. I absolutely hated that she had to suffer. Thankfully, she seemed to take some comfort in my efforts.

I ran down the streets and alley ways, avoiding all of the people that were awake at this late hour. Listening for anyone roaming the streets, and for a rogue vampire, proved to be somewhat difficult with a distraction as great as Anna. I found myself being careless numerous times while I concentrated on her alluring scent, and may or may not have contemplated what it would feel like for my teeth to sink into her flesh and taste of the blood that begged to be consumed. My face started to slowly turn toward Anna's neck on its own accord.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't keep her this close to me and not take her; it was impossible. She was so warm and inviting. My body craved that warmth for itself. It wanted Anna's warmth radiating from the inside, not just feeling it on my skin. I knew this was a terrible idea. After all the promises I gave to her about keeping her safe and protecting her, it turned out I wasn't strong enough. I was going to kill an innocent, and I was powerless to stop it.

I slowed my pace to find somewhere vacant to set Anna down. She noticed the decrease in my speed and opened her eyes to look at the surroundings, thinking we were near her home. When she saw the deserted alley with the dead end we had turned into, she became quite confused.

I took Anna all the way to the end of the alley where I finally came to a stop. I held her for a few moments while trying to regain some kind of control so that I would not just tear into her. My breathing was coming fast and hard while my body shook with the need to take and possess. The monster was desperately trying to control this situation just like he does with all my other kills, but this deserved more delicacy. Anna was not to be treated the way the others were. She was precious, special and deserved better. Hell, she deserved to live, but unfortunately the best I could do for her was to kill her painlessly. She wouldn't know what happened to her after her neck was snapped. Her blood would start to cool before I consumed it all, but I could make that sacrifice for her.

I set Anna against the wall of the stone building that ended the alley. Her face was a mask of confusion and fear, and she didn't know what to feel about the situation, or me. She wanted to believe that I was safe and that everything I told her was the truth, but my actions and the wild look on my face was starting to make her question all I had said. I didn't want to be a liar—not to Anna. None of this was her fault. All of it was mine. It was my fault she was going to die.

"Uhg!" I spun away from Anna, my back now facing her. She yelped while pressing herself further into the wall, startled by my sudden movement and groan. What was I doing? Why couldn't I control this? I didn't want to kill her!

My hands gripped the hair at the back of my head pulling until I felt pain. I needed to feel a different sensation other than the burn of the thirst. It was helping, so I pulled harder—then a lot harder.

"Ah!" The pain was a welcome distraction. I could do this. I could control this. I had stupidly let my guard down, and I just needed to regain the authority I had over the monster. He may control the instincts, but he doesn't control my will. Mind over matter; it was all about mind over matter.

I sank to my knees so that I would be in a less offensive position, to make the monster submit. It's been so long since I've had to do this—to tell the monster no. He was now used to getting his way.

Not focusing on the heavy heartbeat, that was only seven feet from me and calling my name like a siren, felt like the greatest feat I would ever accomplish. God, I wanted that blood.

I let go of my hair to slam my fists into the ground, cracking the road beneath me. Anna jumped and yelped again at my display. She was now very concerned, but she didn't know who to be more concerned for, her or myself. Getting help for me seemed like a good idea to her, however, she didn't know if a doctor could help someone like me. Her survival instincts were telling her that running was also a suitable option, and she took a tentative step away from me. If she were to retreat, no matter what her intention, it would all be over. I would automatically give in to the chase. Anna took another step.

"Don't!" Anna stilled at my command. "Don't leave. Please, don't leave."

Taking in my huddled form on the ground, Anna decided my pleas were for my benefit. She thought that I needed her help or comfort. She had no idea that I was begging for her life. I guessed that was a good thing. I still had a chance at keeping her trust. I could do this.

"Ar...are you sick?" Anna softly asked.

"Very," I replied back, still going for honesty. After all, psychotic was a type of sick.

"You look like you are in pain. Does anything hurt?"

"Yes."

"Where does it hurt?"

"My throat."

"Oh. Um...do you perhaps need a drink?" she asked. She was either extremely smart or extremely stupid. Was she offering? I could not repress the humorless laugh that escaped me. Oh, how irony was a heartless bitch.

"Is there anything I can do?" Anna really wanted me to feel better. She longed for the boy who was, only minutes before, the calm stable one who put her fears to rest, and I really wanted to be him for her. Now that she was no longer maddeningly assaulting all my senses, it was easier to find him again.

"Yes. Just…stay. It will pass." My breathing finally started to slow, and I was regaining control. I needed to be strong so Anna could live; she needed to live.

"Does this happen often to you?" She was now genuinely curious about my overall health.

"Yes."

"Why? Have you been to a doctor?"

"Uh…I used to live with a doctor." Well, that came out a lot more sad and pathetic sounding than I hoped. "It's just something I have to deal with."

"Oh. Why don't you still live with the doctor? Were you close?" We were not going to talk about this.

"Sore subject, Anna."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I started to get up off the ground, feeling more like myself again. As much as I did not like it, thoughts of Carlisle often helped put the monster at bay.

I took a few calming breaths, trying only to think of what needed to be done. Anna needed to be at home. She needed to be safe, and I was the one who had to make sure she was. It took a few moments, but I finally felt sobered enough to continue.

I turned back toward Anna, giving her a small apologetic smile, and extended my hands in invitation to continue our trip. Her home was not far from here. I was pretty sure I could handle carrying her again since having had a break. She gave me a small nod and approached me. Just as she was putting her arms around my neck, I grabbed her wrists to stop her. Again, she startled and yelped.

"What's wro—"

"Sh," I cut off her question quickly. The very serious look on my face had Anna complying. She watched me as my eyes darted around the ally, searching. I was listening very intently to a new mind that sounded inexplicably different from the slumbering humans that surrounded me. What I heard from this mind did not make me happy. It was him, following my scent, genuinely surprised that I was out here. His expectations were that I would still be at home 'enjoying' my gift, either because I wanted to, or to protect myself from having a public figure trapped in my home. He was very curious as to why my scent was on this side of town mixed with Anna's. Curiosity getting the better of him, he decided he would investigate instead of holding onto his original plan for meeting me. He was headed to the alley and would be here soon. I didn't have enough time to make my way back out the way I came in before he would see me exit. There wasn't enough time to get Anna home and safe.

Panic started to fill me, and I didn't know what to expect. I had only ever encountered one other vampire besides Carlisle and Esme. He was a friend of Carlisle's, therefore was very civil, but I have heard stories of what a lot of nomads were like. I also knew enough of this vampire to know that I didn't want him near Anna again, and I was most likely not safe from him, either. How would I protect both Anna and myself if I had to?

My father, being a very successful lawyer, could convince anyone of anything. He started to teach me some ways of persuading the human mind, hoping it would spark my interest in going to law school. It honestly did, and I started to get good at getting the reactions that I wanted from people. My father just didn't appreciate me using this learned ability on my mother—that I would get punished for. At the moment, I hoped that these tricks would help me keep this a verbal encounter and put me in control of the situation.

I leaned down to whisper in Anna's ear, so that the Count would not hear. "We are being followed. The man who took you will be here in a moment."

Anna gasped quietly and started to shake in fear with her eyes tearing up.

"Anna, you must do as I say. I promised to protect you from him, and I will at all costs. I need you to trust me. Don't run and don't talk. Try not to show fear." She continued to break down, so I grabbed her face to make her look at me. "Pull yourself together. Your life depends on it."

She tried to process what I told her and did her best to do what I said. She forcibly composed herself the best that she could.

"Good. Try to stay behind me at all times. Keep your head up and your breathing even, look confident. Don't let him know he gets to you, because it will only give him power over you. You can do this."

She gave me a slight nod while straightening her posture. She put on, what she called, her 'dinner party face' that she used when she had to be around her father's pompous friends that she felt very uncomfortable around and wanted nothing to do with.

"Perfect," I told her. Thankfully, she didn't realize I was trying to convince myself of these things as much as I was her.

The Count was approaching the alley and slowed to walk. He stopped a few yards away from the opening to listen, not thinking that I would yet be aware of his presence. If there was ever a time that I was thankful for my mind reading ability, it was now.

Turning to Anna, I placed my finger to my lips, letting her know to keep quiet. I then pointed to the ally's entrance to alert her that her silence was required because Dracula was now there. Her eyebrows rose in fear and tears started to form again. I gave her pointed look to remind her of what she should be doing. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath, and then recomposed her 'dinner party face'. Giving her a nod of approval, I turned my attention back to the entrance of the ally.

The Count was very confused, and it made me happy. I already had the upper hand. All he could hear was Anna's constant change in breathing and heart rate, but no movement from either of us. He figured that I had detected his presence, upset about the fact that I was more observant than he expected. His thoughts showed that he had a low opinion of me, assuming that I would be more unguarded and ignorant. My anger for him rose again, but I had to suppress it. He could not be allowed to see any effect he had on me.

I had to put myself in control. I would let him know that he was seeing me on my terms, not his.

"Eavesdropping is not considered an appropriate custom," I called out. He was not approving of me addressing him first, or with my attitude, but was expecting me to be more accepting of his presence in the city, especially after he "gifted" me such a beautiful woman. God, he was sick.

Forcing a friendly smile on his face he turned the corner into the alley. Anna stiffened at the sight of him, her memories from earlier replaying in her mind I really hoped she held herself together, and I relaxed a bit when I heard her indignantly think "_Dinner party face_". I suppressed a smile; she could be cute.

He walked toward us with a regal gate, not in any hurry. Anna's memory of his appearance did not do the ridiculousness of his character any justice. One would only have to glance at him to know of the stereotype he held. His black hair was still slicked back with his widow's peek pointing prominently down his forehead. The black suit he wore was in pristine condition and tailored perfectly for him. His jewelry sparkled slightly in the moon light. Yes, he was wearing jewelry. He had a delicate gold chain around his neck and a heavy gold and ruby ring on his left hand. If he could be any more of a cliché, he would just turn into a bat and fly the rest of the way to us. I tried very hard not to roll my eyes, but I was unsuccessful. The Count noticed, not pleased with my gesture. He actually had the audacity to believe that I would be more respectful of his image and perhaps be a bit scared. Ha! Respect was the last he'd get from me.

"My apologies, young one," he finally addressed when he approached, looking up into my eyes. He was shorter than I had imagined. I had a good three inches on him. "I had no desire to _disrespect_ you. I was only making sure that I was not _interrupting_ something." He spoke very eloquently with his words flowing together, like a much practiced actor; it seemed that he was just playing a part. His mental voice was a stark opposite of how he spoke, showing that his character was not genuine. I was now even more wary than I was before. There was a very strong possibility that he could be extremely unpredictable.

"Unnecessary. There is nothing to interrupt," I replied.

"Then may I ask what you are doing here in an abandoned alley with the young woman?"

"No. It is none of your concern."

"Am I to assume that you are unappreciative of my gift?" He looked pointedly at Anna as he said the word gift, and she cringed in fear at his crude mention of her. I lightly touched her hand to try to reassure her that she was safe and to look confident. She tried; she really tried.

"Yes. I am actually rather insulted with your assumptions of me."

"I meant no harm in the gesture. I was only trying to welcome a new neighbor to _my_ city."

And there was what I was looking for, the reason for his actions. It turned out he was very territorial of New York City, considering it to be only his dwelling place. He was not happy with my presence here and planned to be rid of me, but was just having a bit of fun first. He was also curious about me. I didn't behave anything like the other nomads that passed through had, and didn't live like any other vampire he had ever encountered. I was confused as to what this meant. How else does one exist? I didn't understand. His plans were to learn why I operate the way I did, and then destroy me—slowly and painfully. Great.

I had to kill him to save my own life, and I hoped that I could. The only other vampire I have ever fought was Carlisle, and that was only for recreation or learning. I never tried to really hurt him. The Count, however, had a lot of practice killing our kind. Thankfully, I was at least safe for tonight since he hadn't yet gotten the answers he was looking for.

"That is very kind of you, but if it is all right with you, I would prefer to choose those who sustain me for myself."

"Of course. By all means." He smiled, and if I could not hear his thoughts, I would have thought he was completely genuine. He was very good at deception. "Perhaps a potted plant would have been better received as a house warming gift?" He chuckled.

I laughed lightly at his joke. "Yes, perhaps." I reciprocated his smile, making him think that I was falling for his friendly act; it wasn't hard, because he was very sure of his performance.

"Please forgive me. Let us start over, shall we? I am Count Alexander Dellaronte." Oh, for the love of all that is holy, he even calls himself Count. "It is a pleasure to meet you…." He trailed off awaiting my introduction.

"Edward."

"Edward whom?"

"Just Edward."

"You do not have a surname?" He was very curious about what I had to hide. I should have just made something up; the drama that surrounded my last name was not something I wanted to get into.

"No."

The Count arranged his features to look very amused. "No surname would suggest that you have no lineage. Am I standing in the presence of the next messiah?"

"One would never truly know, would they?" I asked appearing just as amused and friendly. He laughed at my reply, enjoying the banter. It had been a few years since he has encountered another vampire, and he was getting a bit bored.

"Well, I guess I will be on my way. I don't mean to intrude on your moment, here." He gestured to Anna with his comment, his eyes lingering on her for a moment too long. "I must say, Miss Montgomery, the look of you in a man's shirt is very alluring. I just love the implications of such a sight." He decided that if he were to find her in her home again that he would take the advantage that I did not.

Anna started to lose it again. She could not handle this encounter, especially with what the Count had just said. It made me livid. He had already put her through enough stress tonight, and I would not allow him to mistreat her any further. My friendly demeanor disappeared quickly as I took an aggressive step in his direction.

"You have a lot of nerve speaking that way to her. You put her through enough torment for one night, so I suggest you leave her alone," I threatened.

The Count became very close to dropping his façade, anger taking over his thoughts. He wasn't used to being spoken to in such a way.

"You are quite filled with audacity yourself, Edward."

"What can I say? It's a reaction you bring out in me, _Count_. May I ask who gifted you with such a prestigious title?" I was very curious how he would answer this seeing that he gave it to himself.

"The opinion of others is not what makes us who we are, Edward. We decide that for ourselves. This is my city, which you will soon learn." He was trying very hard to keep his regal character in place while he was seething on the inside. I wanted to see if I could break him; I wanted the control.

"Your threats mean nothing to me," I said very calmly. I didn't want to show any emotion, alerting him that he was not affecting me in the least.

"You lack wisdom. I suggest you tread lightly from now on. You are not safe here. If you wish to keep your life, I suggest you find a new home. There have been others before you that did not heed my warning and suffered the consequences. I will not be treated in such a manner in my own territory, especially by a wretched, young orphan, such as yourself."

Again, I rolled my eyes nonchalantly.

"If you say so," was my clever rebuttal. I turned my back on the Count, which is an instinctual faux pas, to acknowledge Anna. I extended my hand to her. "Come, Anna. We will be on our way."

Being dismissed was what broke the elegant character of Count Alexander Dellaronte. I saw that he was about to lunge for me, so before he even left the ground I had turned and grabbed him by the throat, pinning him against the wall with my knee. Anna yelped again, trying to shrink away from us as much as the space allowed.

The Count tried to free himself from me, but was unsuccessful. There were no words to describe how thankful I was at the fact that I was stronger than him. It was now time for my warning to him.

"I do not care who you think you are, or what you think is yours. I will live where I want to live. You are a weak minded fool who does not even possess the courage to be genuine. You rely on a ridiculous character to hide your inadequacies, but you can't hide them from me. I will always be one step ahead of you; you will never catch me by surprise. If _you_ wish to keep _your_ life, then I would suggest that you leave me the hell alone." I slammed him into the wall a second time. "And if you so even touch Anna, I will tear your limbs from your body, turn them to ash, and leave your stump of a body at the bottom of the ocean for the rest of eternity. Do I make myself clear?"

The Count gave me no answer. He only tried to work his way free from my grasp, but like I promised, I was a step ahead of him; he did not know the gift he was dealing with. He continued to fight against me until I got annoyed, and I grabbed him by the arms and spun him around so that his arms were now crossed behind his back, pressing him face first into the wall. I heard a crack come from somewhere in his body, making him groan in pain. It felt good to use my full strength.

"Do you understand?" I asked him, my tone dripping with venom.

"Yes," the Count answered, finally defeated. His thoughts had turned to the last time a vampire had bested him. It was thirty one years ago in England.

"Yes what?" I taunted, deciding that I was not quite finished.

"Yes, I understand," he choked out, truly frightened of me.

"Good," I replied. Forcibly turning him back around, I again shoved him into the brick. I then gently smoothed out his jacket lapels. "We wouldn't want to ruin this nice suit, now would we?" I asked. I may have been getting arrogant.

Stepping away from the Count, I motioned that he was now allowed to leave. He stayed for a moment, attempting to stare me down, but then thought better of it, and then pushed away from the brick and stalked passed me, never taking his eyes away from mine. When he was a couple of yards away, he broke into a run and was gone. I was positive, however, that it would not be the last time I saw him. The Count was not going down without a fight.

I turned back to Anna, only to find her huddled in a corner, shaking and crying. I could not blame her. She went to bed tonight not knowing anything of the supernatural, thinking humans were the only sentient beings in the world, and now knew of the hidden horror that graced humanity. She should not have been exposed to this, but just became a witness to my true nature. I hoped that it did not cloud her previous trust and concern toward me.

It was now my responsibility to care for her and put her at ease. The mess she had gotten into was my fault, and I had to fix what I could. I slowly made my back over to her, trying not to frighten her further. Bending down to meet her face, I reached out my hand trying to make her look at me, but she cringed away from my touch, obviously very affected from the aggressive display.

"Anna?" I asked gently, but she did not respond.

"Anna." I tried again.

Her only reactions were the shaking and the crying, so I crawled by her side to sit next to her and wrapped one arm around her, but she tried to push me away.

"Anna, please," I begged her. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I feel awful that you had to see that. You should never have been subject to such a thing. I'm so sorry that happened."

Her thoughts were all over the place. She was replaying all the events of the night in her head, but not in sequential order. All her memories were overlapping in a very confusing way; however, deciphering them wasn't too difficult.

One thing that stood out to me was her comparison of me with the Count. Even in the dark, she noticed the similarities between the two of us. Both of us having the same pale skin and matching red eyes was very strange to her. She didn't understand how we were both able to move with the same fast speeds and exhibit such large amounts of strength. She now knew what I meant when I told her that her father and fiancé would be powerless against the Count. She thought back on the words she heard us speak to each other and tried to figure out the meaning of some things that didn't make sense to her. Mostly, my comment about wanting to be able to choose for myself _who_ would sustain me had her baffled, and she tried to piece together if my earlier outburst in the alley was relative to anything that was said. She had a very quick, smart mind, and she was on a very dangerous train of thought that made me very uncomfortable, and I needed to distract her.

"Anna, it's over now," I said, lightly pushing her hair from her face. "He's gone, and you have nothing to fear anymore. I can take you home."

The thought of being safe in her home was almost enough to distract her from her musings. That is until something clicked in her mind. The Count's stereotypical demeanor did not weigh in my favor, in the least. I hung my head in defeat, not knowing how I would respond to her next words.

"You…you're a…a vampire. You were going to...kill me, weren't you?"

Shit.


	5. Chapter 5

Now what? How the hell do I fix this? I might as well just march myself right to the Volturi to personally tell them of my transgression. In their eyes, there would only be two options to solve my problem. Kill Anna, or turn her, and then possibly, kill me. I was not keen on any of those ideas. I needed to think of something else. I had already convinced her to keep her mouth shut about everything that happened tonight. What was one more little secret?

"Anna, I need to get you home. It's freezing out here and it's late. I'll tell you whatever you want to know as soon as we are back at your house." I decided I would be honest with her. She would be more likely to not tell anyone if she had all the answers instead of thinking that she had some sort of mystery to solve.

Anna slowly looked to my eyes. She was at war with her mind trying to decide if I was trust worthy and safe. She wanted to believe that I was, but after everything she just witnessed and figured out, she knew that trust was the last thing she should have for me. However, she could not deny the stark difference between me and the Count. That was my only saving grace in her mind.

"I'll go with you. It's not like I have a choice. But I want you to answer a question honestly first. When you brought me here in the alley, was it so you could kill me for my blood? That is what you do, isn't it?" she asked sadly. She was fairly certain she had already figured out the answer, but wanted to know if she could trust me to be truthful. Damn.

"Yes," I whispered with my eyes cast down in shame. She shuddered slightly in fear, now having her suspicions confirmed. "But I didn't want to. It was...I couldn't control it. At the time, I didn't have a choice. I don't want to be this," I said motioning to myself. "Sometimes it is hard for…our kind to keep our instincts at bay. But as you saw, I was able to overcome it. Now, I will tell you more, but please let me get you home. I don't want you to get sick."

"Because that will make my blood more unhealthy for you?" Anna asked indignantly.

"What? No." Where was her sudden confidence coming from? She had clearly been through too much tonight and was loosing her sense of mind. "I'm not going to kill you."

"But you were. How can I know that you will control it, as you said before?"

"Because I promise to control it and not hurt you."

"You promised in your home that you wouldn't hurt me."

I put my face in my hand and sighed. This was only going in circles.

"And have I yet?"

"You just said that you were going to kill me! How is that promising not to hurt me?" She was getting angry with me now.

"But I didn't! You wanted me to answer your question honestly, and I did. For a moment, my resolve was to kill you, yes. But all I needed was some distance from you for the temptation to dissipate, then I was fine!" Her anger only sparked mine. She had every right to be mad at me, but my emotions have been harder to control as of late. "And by the way, you're welcome for keeping you safe from Alexander, for standing up to him for you, and for threatening him if he touches you again. Just so you know, I didn't do that so I could have all your blood to myself. Believe it or not, I actually have a genuine concern for your safety. He's the one you should be afraid of, not me." I sighed again, disgusted with the way I just spoke to a lady. My mother raised me better than that. But I would be damned if I apologized for it. Hell, I was damned anyway. "Now please, let me get you home. We will both feel better when you are safe in your room again."

Surprised at my tantrum, Anna decided to drop it for now. I stood and offered her my hand, which she didn't take. She rose to her feet on her own.

"I will have to touch you while I'm carrying you, you realize?" I couldn't believe that I was actually insulted by her gesture. She was right to refuse my touch.

"Not if I hold on to your back, you don't." I didn't want to carry her that way. I was being too stubborn. I wanted to prove to myself that I could continue on without loosing it again.

"That's not necessary," I combated.

"Really? How are you going to climb up five stories into a window with no hands?"

She had me there. Why didn't I think of that? I may need to learn to be more obsessive with my planning. Was there anything else I could screw up tonight?

"Fine. As you wish," I said as I turned my back to her. I really needed to drop the attitude. Carlisle often told me of how I could get like this when I wasn't getting things exactly how I wanted them.

Bracing her hands on my shoulders, Anna jumped up onto my back, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips as much as her nightgown would allow. I instinctively reached to hold her thighs to make sure she wouldn't fall. Immediately, I felt uncomfortable. I had never touched a woman intimately like that before. I hoped that she would not see my touch as some sort of advance. Really needing to get this trip over with, I quickly took off, back toward Anna's house.

The house was only three quarters of a mile away. Anna seemed to do much better for the rest of this trip. She wasn't as scared, now knowing what to expect. She was also not as cold with having my body in front of hers to block a lot of the wind that passed over us.

I spent the rest of the run listening to Anna try to decide what to think of me. She was so back and forth with her conclusions, but was leaning more in my favor. Out of all the kindness I showed her tonight, and with what I said to the Count on her behalf, she could not hold the solitary instance, where my control was questionable, as the reason to not believe me anymore. She could not doubt all the good she saw in me tonight. Feelings of remorse came to her mind when she thought about how I had cared for her earlier and then the way she had just spoken to me. She knew I was telling her the truth when I told her that I didn't want to kill her, and decided her anger at me was unfounded. She termed my discretion as an accident, which it was. But I didn't expect her to see it that way. I was very lucky that the girl the Count decided to kidnap tonight was Anna. I would never expect anyone to handle and accept all this the way Anna did. She was either an extraordinary person, or something was greatly wrong with her.

"I'm sorry," Anna whispered in my ear, interrupting my inner musings. "I shouldn't have gotten angry with you. I can tell this whole situation is difficult for you. I can tell that you are good." She took in a deep breath against my neck, enjoying my scent. Her arms tightened around my neck and her head laid down on my shoulder. "I trust you," she let out right before a yawn escaped her.

Anna was tired, and possibly delusional. Why else would she say that to me after learning what I was and giving her an intent to murder confession? Perhaps after some proper rest she would order me away with revulsion.

However, it wasn't Anna's words that had me reeling inside at the moment. It was her actions. She was showing me affection. Real physical affection. Something I hadn't had in five months. I was not prepared for the barrage of emotion I felt because of it. I missed the attention that I received from Esme and Carlisle so much. I did not realize how important to me that physical affection was when I left my adoptive parents. Now I see that I had just taken it for granted.

I reveled in Anna's touch like it was giving me life, not aware of how much I craved this kind of affection. Should I look to Anna to give me such a thing? No, I shouldn't.

I was told that the nomadic life was a lonely one. I believed that it was something that I could handle easily. After all, Carlisle had endured it for centuries. And here I am, five months into this life, already lonely enough to contemplate using a human as a friend. Maybe Esme was right. Perhaps Carlisle did change me while I was too young. I obviously had issues with rational problem solving.

I also had to ask myself if Anna would even want to be my friend. I was an admitted killer. What would I have to offer her? But she knew the truth about me and still put her trust in me. If I would have some kind of companion, she would be the most logical choice. It was either her or the Count, and the latter was laughable, at best.

I was out of time to think about all this right now. I had just stopped at Anna's building, looking up at the fifth story windows, trying to figure out which one was to Anna's room. There was only one window that remained open.

"Is that your room there?" I asked Anna, pointing with one hand while the other still held her to me.

"Yes, that's it," she answered excitedly. Not knowing if she was going to make it back here numerous times tonight made her giddy at the thought of finally being home.

"You need to hold on to me as tight as you can. I won't be able to hold you."

"Okay," she responded as she locked her arms and knees around me as tight as she could. Anna then buried her face in the back of my neck. She was terrified of heights and not looking forward to this.

"Just keep your eyes closed. It will be over very quickly."

"Just don't let me fall," Anna mumbled against my neck.

"I won't let you fall. This is easy for me. You have nothing to worry about." I stood there for a moment, just listening to the occupants of the building, judging whether or not someone was awake or noticed Anna's disappearance, or if there was someone who would see me scale the building. It seemed that Anna's family had slept through the night and never knew she was gone. At least something went right tonight.

With one last listen for onlookers, I started my climb. I went slower than I normally would as to not jostle Anna and make her lose her hold. Before she knew happened, I was prying her arms off of me to set her on her bed. Anna opened her eyes, confusion clouding her features.

"How did you do that? I barely felt us move at all."

"I'm just able to move quickly, is all. But you already knew that," I said with a smirk, trying to downplay my physical accomplishments. However, in doing so, I only brought attention to my physical appearance. That was made aware to me with Anna's gaping and her thinking; _He is so handsome. _That was going to create a whole different problem.

"Anna, you should go to sleep. It's very late and you've had a long night. Your body needs rest," I tried to convince her. It was true.

"But you promised you would answer my questions when we got back here," she countered, worried that I had lied to her.

I knelt in front of Anna, where she sat on the bed, looking into her eyes. "I will tell you what you want to know. But you need rest first. You have been through more torment tonight than one person should in their lifetime, and everything you want to know is a lot to take in. You should hear it with a clear head."

"You will be here when I wake up?" she asked curious as to when she would see me again.

"No. I have to leave. But I will come back," I said, hoping she would not panic at my leaving her. The sky is very clear, and in a couple hours the sun will be shining. I could not be stuck in Anna's room all day.

"When?"

"As soon as I can."

"You're not coming back," Anna said, casting her eyes down in disappointment. She thought she had been duped by me. However, it wasn't something I couldn't fix. Anna had been easy to convince so far.

I very carefully reached my hand out to touch Anna's face. I first pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear then cupped her cheek lightly as if she was made of fine glass. Thankfully, she didn't flinch at my touch.

"Look at me," I commanded. Anna complied. "I promise I will come back to you. And as I recall, I have not broken a promise to you yet. Have I?"

Anna shook her head lightly. "No, You haven't."

"I have no reason to start now," I stated, giving Anna my most imploring look. I gave a slight smile as I pulled my hand away. I needed to stop touching her. Feeling the warmth and flow of blood under her skin while surrounded by Anna's sent was not in either of our best interests. "And anyway, I enjoy talking with you. I'd be a fool not to come back."

Anna looked at me for a moment, trying to determine the motive of my comment. I hoped that she took it for what it was and not a romantic advance.

"You don't have anyone to talk to, do you?" she asked with a bit of pity. That is the last thing I wanted.

"Not at the moment, no," I stated honestly.

"Well, maybe Alexander could use a friend," Anna joked, causing me to laugh. I was grateful for her attempt at humor. It was better than pity.

"What he receives from me won't be my friendship. You can count on that."

"You won't get hurt, will you?" she asked with some worry.

"No," I answered. "You should go to sleep now." I didn't want her thinking about my fight with the Count right before bed.

"Okay," Anna agreed. She started to unbutton the shirt I gave her so that she could give it back to me. I stopped her.

"No. Keep it," I told her.

"Why?"

"So that when you wake up tomorrow, you will know that you didn't just dream everything that happened tonight," I explained.

"Oh."

"That way you won't freak out when I show up here again."

"That is a good idea," Anna agreed. "You know, you turning out to be pretty useful."

I laughed again. I was really enjoying this side of Anna. I hoped this is what she was always like and not only the way she behaves in her sleep deprived state.

"Good night, Anna," I said as I started to get up.

"Wait," she stopped me. I saw in her mind what she wanted to do, so I cut off my breathing and locked my joints in place, willing them to not move an inch. Anna moved toward me, placing her hand on my face. She brought her face close to mine, and I closed my eyes. It was best that I didn't see her throbbing neck so close to me again. She place her lips gently against me and kissed my cheek. She was so warm.

"Thank you for everything," she whispered. Anna then pulled back, removing her touch from me.

"You're welcome." I stood to leave as Anna started to get situated under her covers. "Get some rest, all right?"

"I will. I hope you get some good rest, too," Anna offered. I could only try to repress a smile at her remark.

"What?" Anna asked curiously.

"I'm pretty well rested from the last time I slept," I answered as I started walking back toward the window.

"When was that?"

"Nineteen eighteen," I said with another smirk on my face. Bantering with her was fun. I may have been enjoying it a bit too much.

"What?" Anna quietly exclaimed, propping herself up on her elbow. "You are definitely coming back tomorrow. You hear me? You just instigated a lot more questions," she said sternly.

"All right," I chuckled. "Make it tomorrow night."

"Ah, you have to wait for the sun do go down, right?"

"Yes. But not for the reason you think," was my answer.

"Ugh. Just go. You are causing more questions," she lamented while laying back down and pulling the covers over her head, causing me to chuckle again.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." I was very aware at how much I wanted to spend more time with her.

Anna pulled her covers back off her face to look at me again. "Good night, Edward," she said, using my name for the first time.

"Good night," I replied, with one last look at her. I then climbed out the window, closing it behind me, and jumped to the ground. There was always an exhilarating rush jumping from tall heights. It never got old.

I decided to walk at a human pace. It was a nice night, and I was no longer in a hurry. It was also easier to think while moving at a slower pace. I thought about all the events of the night. It was by far the strangest night I have ever had. Starting out hunting and killing a despicable man and hiding his body and ending with befriending a human girl seemed so contradictory to me. It reminded me of something silly Carlisle used to say to me in my earlier years as a vampire. He used to tell me that humans were friends, not food. But could they be both? Could I be a killer and keep Anna as my friend? Would she even want me as a friend when she finally realized what it is I did? I guess I would find out tomorrow night when she could better make that decision after recuperating from tonight. I hoped she would not shun me after hearing the truths I had to tell her. Her friendship felt like a necessity. The affection she showed me tonight was something that I needed and hoped to get more of. Damn, I felt so selfish. She certainly didn't need a blood drinking monster in her life. No one needs that. But I needed her. For my own sanity, I needed her. And with that thought, Anna Beth Montgomery became the most important person in my world.

I looked up to the sky. It looked like there was about two hours, maybe less, until the sun came up. I took off running at full speed then. There was something I needed to do to ensure Anna's safety. I had a vampire to find.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I want to apologize for the delay of this chapter. I had a lot of things working against me the past five months in the writing department. I'm glad that I am back at it now. Again, I am sorry to those who have been waiting for it. There will not be a break that long again. It did not make me happy.

I really hope you enjoy the new chapter. Let me know what you think. I really want to improve my writing and your reviews mean the world to me.

* * *

Four days had passed since I broke my promise to Anna. I had every intention of going back to see her, but both the Count and the weather had different plans.

New York City was experiencing the sunniest week, in March, it had seen in five years. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was fifty five degrees. There was much rejoicing amongst the humans. I, however, had been fuming while being holed up in my loft during the day.

The night brought on a very different distraction. Alexander was proving to be more troublesome than I had anticipated. No matter how long I tracked his scent, I never found him.

The night I left Anna's, I had searched until sunrise to no avail. It seemed traveling the city was a hobby of his, because his trails led me in varying circles. Every night I was led in the most confusing paths that usually led back to where the scent started. Angry was a very poor description of how I felt.

Each night, I would leave my loft, intending to visit Anna, then I would catch the Count's sent lingering too close to her house. That then sparked my anger and I went after him, hoping that it was the last time he posed any kind of threat to her.

And that had become my nightly routine for the past four nights.

I told myself that the only reason I had not gone back to visit Anna was to protect her. Truthfully, I did need to keep her safe. I had seen the plans the Count had for her. I wasn't going to allow him to get the chance to follow through.

However, I knew there was another reason for my hesitancy. I was a bit of a coward. Fear of Anna changing her mind about me had kept me away from her. The behavior she had exhibited in her traumatized, and sleep deprived, states seemed far too good to be true. Someone who knew what I was, and still desired my company, certainly did not think in a rational state of mind. Anna had to have regretted begging me to come back to her. I hoped that she didn't, but it was likely she did. How could she not? I was a blood thirsty monster who had admitted to almost killing her. I started to become very overwhelmed by my own stupidity.

It was coming on three in the morning and I was trudging my way back to my loft. I was too angry to stay out in public anymore without being a danger to someone, so I decided to go home. My anger only spiked more when the Count's scent was very strong by my building. I knew exactly what I would find when I got home.

I entered the front door and followed the Count's scent up the stairs to the entrance of my apartment. Sitting in front of the door was yet another potted plant; another make up house warming gift from Alex. This was the fifth one now. They started the night I took Anna home and continued each night. I huffed at the sight of the small fern that taunted me from the ground. Its existence only served to prove my inadequacies.

I picked up the plant and took it into my kitchen, giving it some water, then placed it on the window sill with the others. Destroying it seemed too wasteful. It wasn't the plants fault that the Count was a lunatic who needed a hobby.

Looking around the room, I realized that I had nothing else intriguing to do to pass the time. I had read all my books, listened to all my music, and the apartment was spotless. That was the consequence of having four days of sun. The only thing I had to occupy my mind was the hunt for Alexander, and how it had taken over my life.

I hated him. I barely knew him and I hated him. Anger at his actions was coursing through me as I looked out the window. The thought of him being out there while I was in my apartment, and Anna was unguarded in her home, had me seething yet again. I could not just do nothing.

My resolve had me back out into the city, searching again for that elusive fool. How he kept evading me, I could not understand. He must have been very practiced at outrunning his would be murderers.

I continued following his scent that had led to my building, trying to find the trails that were more fresh in the air. They went back toward the Upper East Side and then all the way down to Brooklyn. I wasn't sure how much time the Count had spent in the more rough sides of the city, but I guessed not too much, judging from his style of dress and his demeanor. If he was in Brooklyn, I assumed it was for a kill. I hoped so. If his attention was diverted, the chances of actually catching up to him were far better.

I slowed my pace so that I could pay better attention to the minds around me. I listened for anything that would alert me to his presence, whether it be his mind, or his image in the mind of the innocent human that would not have the chance to remember him.

His scent led all the way to Brighton Beach, where it was much harder to follow due to the wind coming off the water. I walked the beach fairly slowly, watching and listening, and also hoping that he would see me and make himself known.

The breeze started to change directions, giving me another dose of his scent. Unsurprisingly, the scent was mixed with another. He had definitely brought a human there. It was possible that he had already taken the body into the water. If so, I would wait for him. He was not going to evade me another night. I was too stubborn to let it happen again.

The scent continued up the coast line, and I ran after it as it was getting stronger the further I went. Following the scent of the human reminded me that I needed to take care of my own thirst at the earliest convenience. Feeding every four to five days was around my new norm with human blood, as it was needed more often to help keep my raging emotions in check.

I approached the Count and the human quickly. His thoughts were making themselves very known, and again, I found myself very thankful for my talent. I could see that he was with an attractive young woman, no doubt about to make her his prey. I should have slowed to listen to what was really going on, but my desire to end him as quickly as possible won out over my common sense.

With Alex and the human now in sight, I only had three seconds before I would barrel into him, head on, at my current speed. Apparently he knew it too, because just before I was about to take him down, he stepped a safe distance away from the girl so that she would not be taken down with him. Before I had time to consider why he would take that care, I was on him. I finally had him! Evading me was not going to be an option for him this time.

I wasted no time forcing Alex to the ground right before I started clawing and ripping away at him. I had never let myself go as much as I had in that moment. My sounds, my movements, every part of me displayed the animal I was. I was finally able to take my full strength out on someone, and it felt so liberating. The Count, however, was fighting back feebly. His defensive movements were exaggerated and slow. He made no effort to overthrow my attack, but only to try to keep me from doing any painful damage to his body.

When I started to dig my fingers into the Count's neck is when he finally improved his defenses. His right hand wrapped around my wrist, trying to pull my hand away from the cracking it was causing. My fingers immediately left his neck, and wrapped around his wrist to counter his attack. With all my strength, I pulled at the joint at an unnatural angle until the Count's hand broke away from his body with a loud crack. The Count screamed in agony as I tossed his hand aside.

Losing an appendage finally put the fight into Alex. He then met me blow for blow, trying to not let me get anywhere near his neck. His efforts proved futile when I, again, had his throat in my hand.

The Count's thoughts showed that he was surprised at my fighting skill. He had assumed that I was a young vampire, and therefore, untrained. His constant underestimation of me was becoming very aggravating. I could not wait to prove Alex wrong, so I once again constricted my fingers around his neck. I pushed him further into the ground with my other hand to hold him still, when a very loud scream broke my focus.

The young woman was sitting in the sand, horror struck, watching Alex's hand try to make its way back to its owner. I watched her as she shook in fear at what she was seeing. Her mind tried to make sense of everything she had witnessed, but came up empty. The only deduction she could come up with was 'not human'.

The Count used my distracted state to shove me off of him and lunge for his hand. He grabbed it quickly and held it to his wrist where the tissues started to reconnect and heal themselves. I watched the process in amazement. Carlisle had told me that we were capable of such healings, but I had never seen it happen with my own eyes.

The young woman also saw this happen. She was now more fearful than she was the moment before and was having a hard time controlling her composure. The Count looked to her with a very amused expression.

"Are you enjoying the show?" he asked, taunting her.

The girl scrambled to her feet and attempted to run away, but she was not quick enough. The Count reached her before she was even two feet away. She yelped when Alex caught her and was about to scream until the Count covered her mouth.

"Oh, Edward. Look what you have done," Alex stated dramatically.

"What are you talking about?" I was confused at his statement. His mind showed me that whatever he had planned for this night was going correctly, but not exactly what it was he had planned.

"This poor girl", he said tracing a finger down her cheek while she whimpered. "She was only out for a stroll with a charming man when you had to go and expose us like that," he continued with a dramatic sigh.

"Me? Who takes a stroll at four thirty in the morning? You were going to kill her. I'm sure that would have exposed you," I countered back. I was reaching, and I knew it. The truth was that I hadn't taken the girl into consideration. I had only focused on Alex and ending him as quickly as possible. What would I have done if I had succeeded in killing him in front of her? My breathing picked up slightly in fear of what I thought might be coming.

The girl blanched at my statement and tried to wriggle out of the Count's grasp.

"Kill her?" Alex asked me as if I were crazy. "No, I would not have killed Clara. She just needed to get out of her home for a while. Didn't you, sweetheart?"

Clara's eyes bounced from me to the Count, trying to figure out our exchange. Her thoughts revealed that this was not her first encounter with Alex. For some reason, she had trusted him. This had me also trying to figure out what was going on.

"You see, Edward, Clara's father is a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, his marriage is not in the best of conditions right now, and as I was passing by, I heard the arguing. I thought Clara could use the fresh air and the distraction. This is not our first walk on the beach, is it, sweetheart?"

I was astounded that he was telling the truth. He had never planned on hurting the girl. But his earlier thoughts on his plans for the evening still had me wary.

Clara had started to relax a bit hearing the Count's familiar way of speech. Alex was someone that she looked up to and found solace in. He and her father had spent a great deal of time together.

"Shhh, Clara. You know I always have your best interest in mind. What you have seen tonight does not change that. You know you can trust me," Alex smoothly drawled to the young woman, easing her even more. He was finally able to remove his hand from mouth, but did not release his grasp on her.

"However, Edward, we do have a problem," the Count continued. "You did expose us, and Clara's family is very influential in the city. They are actually good friends with the Montgomerys'. Clara and Anna are very close. Aren't you, Clara?"

The young woman nodded, confirming Alex's statement. Knowing what I did of New York City's socialites, this would make the girl Clara Brandt. Her father, Harrison, was largely involved in organizing the city's artistic presentations. Mostly working with plays and concerts. I've seen him many times at these events, always shaking hands with the other wealthy populace. What was Alex's obsession with involving well known people in this little feud he had created with me?

"So, what is it you propose we do to solve our little problem, Edward?" the Count asked. "After all, you are the one that got us into this particular mess."

My shoulders slumped now seeing where Alex was going with this.

"Oh come on now, have you never taken responsibility for your actions?" the Count asked, icily.

"I..I've never made a mistake," I quietly answered. I meant to sound more sure of myself, but I was currently horrorstruck at what the Count expected of me. I knew he was right. According to our law, Clara was not allowed to live, and it was my job, being the one who was irresponsible, to kill her.

"Never made a mistake?" was the Count's shocked reply. "You've never made a mistake?" he asked disbelievingly.

I shook my head. "No. Not like this." It was true. I had never exposed Carlisle, Esme, and myself for what we were. Carlisle was very cautious with his newborns to the point of obsession. He constantly worried about me or Esme hurting someone, or accidentally exposing our nature, and having to right that wrong as I had to now. He would not be able to live with the guilt of being the one responsible for that particular evil being released on an innocent. If we did have a small blunder, Carlisle always knew how to fix it. He was very good at rationalizing our actions to humans. He could explain away anything. With his compassionate nature, and charming doctors' bedside manner, it was impossible for people to not believe everything he said. Or if the situation required it, we would just move and be done with it.

But no explanation could be used in this situation. I didn't think trying to convince Clara that it was normal for people to fight and growl like animals, rip off each others appendages without bloodshed, and having those appendages reattach to the body all on their own, was going to go over very well. And Clara was not like Anna. Anna trusted me. Right now, Clara trusted Alex more, and her trust in him was starting to falter. There would be no convincing her to keep our secret.

"Did you hear that, Clara? We are in the presence of a golden child!" Alex exclaimed, looking to Clara. She gave a small hysterical laugh, not knowing how else to respond. "He's never made a mistake! He's perfect! Are you still not looking for a husband? Take Edward, here. You can't find anything better than perfect!"

Alex looked very amused at my furious expression. He was finding much entertainment in his condescension of me, while my thoughts turned to other things, like fire and ash.

"So tell me, oh great one, how are you going to handle your first mistake?"

I honestly did not know how to answer. How was I going to handle this? I could not kill Clara. I would not. I knew that I would regret that for the rest of my days. I also knew what could happen to me if I did not kill her. I would be hunted, and so would she. She would die anyway, unless I could figure a way out of this.

"You still have not answered, young one," the Count stated, acknowledging my hesitation. "Did your sire not teach you these fundamentals?"

"My sire taught me everything," I seethed. How dare he question Carlisle.

"Touchy subject, your sire? Tell me, did he teach you to only hunt the degenerates of society? Were you not allowed to indulge in your desires to take the innocent? It seems your sire has not nurtured your more instinctive nature. Did he try to teach you that your humanity can be saved?" Alex taunted.

"What do you want?" I demanded. I could now see it; his plan for the night. All of this show, as he thought of it, was a test. He wanted to gauge how dangerous I was, and it was safe to say that he was not impressed with this side of me that he was seeing. He had found my weakness and was very much enjoying gaining the upper hand that I had assumed belonged to me.

"Can we please go home now?" Clara asked Alex. She was progressively getting more frightened and longed for the safety of her house.

The Count warmly caressed Clara's face. "You will be at rest very soon. No reason to worry. Edward is going to take very good care of you. Isn't that right, Edward?"

Clara's eyes went wide as they met me. "What does that mean?" she asked timidly.

"It means that you may not be happy with my best intentions for you, but I do promise that you will find peace."

The Count's cryptic answers to her made me feel sick.

Clara looked up to Alex for clarification. She did not understand his remark.

His only response was, "I'm sorry. But it must be this way." With that, he shoved her away into my arms. "Make sure you do the right thing, Edward," he warned, and started to walk away.

Clara looked to Alex's retreating form as my hands held her in place. "No! Wait. Alex, come back!" she uselessly begged. He ignored her pleas and continued his gate. She turned back toward me, her forearms resting on my chest. Her eyes scanned my face looking for safety. Unfortunately, my expression held no hope for her.

"No, please! I won't tell anyone what I saw. I promise!" Clara begged, starting to sob.

How could anyone do this? Looking into Clara's eyes as she begged for her life pulled at my heart in the most torturous way. There was no way I could be her executioner. I knew she had to die. It was our law. It had to be done. Turning her was certainly not an option. That was a fate worse than death. Even if I would have had the control to perform such a task, I would not give her immortality. Despite what some thought, it was not a gift.

"I can't do it!" I shouted in the Count's direction. He was walking slowly away. He knew I was too weak to follow through with my responsibility and was waiting to be called back. I was hoping he had another alternative for Clara. I highly doubted that he would kill his friends' daughter. He truly did not want to hurt her.

Alex made his way back toward us with an indignant sigh while shaking his head at me. Clara was happy that he had returned. She felt safer again as he reached out his hand to her. She immediately took it and willingly left my grasp.

"Please," Clara begged him, wanting to go home. Alex gave her a serene smile while he, again, caressed her face.

"As you wish, my dear," he said, just as he twisted his wrists, snapping her neck.

I gasped, not expecting him to do such a thing. He had cared for her.

The Count took in my shocked expression with impatience. "Now what was so difficult about that? Simple flick of the wrist and you're done. Why couldn't you do that?" he chastised.

I stared at him while he awaited my answer, still shocked at what transpired tonight. I had never been responsible for innocent death before. I wasn't handling it very well.

My thoughts were interrupted when Alex started to laugh at me. "Tell me Edward, how new to this life are you?"

I didn't want to answer. Alex expecting me to say about three years, instead of my actual ten, had me feeling quite embarrassed. So I said nothing.

Alex stomped his way over to me, stepping over Clara's body. He was growing impatient with me. He stopped inches in front of me, looking up into my eyes. I may have had more height on me, but at the moment I felt smaller. Alex was so confident, so sure of himself. I was jealous. He had hidden this intimidating side from me in our previous encounter. I wanted to shrink away from him.

"Let me enlighten you, Edward," the Count started. "I did not enjoy handling your dirty work just now. Let's call this a favor, shall we? I'll let you keep your pet, Anna. I won't touch her. Just know that if the law finds her, the law will find you. So you better pray to any god that will listen that she keeps her mouth shut. I know she knows the truth."

"How..," I started to ask, wanting to know how he knew what he did.

The Count interrupted me with a laugh. "I have been around for a long time. Nothing goes on in this city with out me knowing. I knew of your presence in this city since the day you arrived. I knew of every entertaining event you attended, every store you had visited, and every kill you made. You only killed those less compassionate than you. Every one of those men was a danger to society, and you ended their reign of terror. You are quite the hero. The city can sleep comfortably!" he exclaimed, laughing at his joke.

"I watched your patterns, and they are very predictable. They are the patterns of a vampire who wished he were human. The whole live like them, be like them, and be seen like them mentality. I have seen it before in a few vampires who refused to let go of their pasts. It never ends well. You will receive your wake up call one of these days, and you will realize that humanity and compassion have no place in the life a vampire."

Confusion clouded my features. Carlisle was the epitome of humanity and compassion, and he had been surviving just fine for over two centuries. "I don't believe you," I retorted.

"Oh trust me, you will. When your need for humanity mixes with your need to kill, you will believe me. That's why I'm letting you keep Anna, you know. Her death will show you."

"I will not kill her."

"Perhaps you won't. But just having your presence in her life will be enough. Having her exposed to our world will ruin her in some way. Combining humans and vampires is like combining wood with fire. The fire can not help but to consume the wood, no matter if it wants to or not. It is the fires' purpose. It can not change that," the Count stated as it were a matter of fact.

"You have human relationships. You had just stated that you were friends with Harrison Brandt," I rationalized.

The Count started his rebuttal with a roll of his eyes and exasperated sigh. "And I just killed his daughter! Do I look upset about it. Do you think the agony of Clara's death is eating me away on the inside with it's torturous agony as it would have with you? No. I do think it is a shame that her life had to be lost in such a frivolous way, but I am not sad over it. It's a part our existence. It comes with the territory.

"And when I said I was friends with Harrison, it was merely for Clara's benefit. With an eternity to live, we do get bored with our mundane existence. My friendship with him is completely for selfish purposes. With his involvement in the arts, he allows me to participate in a lot of the planning of different theater and concert events. It's something I really enjoy. But I would not hesitate to kill him or his family if the need arises," he said, gesturing to Clara's body. "Having hobbies helps to protect our kind from insanity."

I had nothing to say to Alex's heartless admission. I only looked upon Clara's body, wondering how killing her the way he did caused him no remorse. I also wondered if I would eventually become so callused that I would take innocent life so easily. The thought terrified me.

I looked back to the Count. I hated him even more than I did before. I didn't like him telling me these things that he thought were reality. I did not want to become what he was so sure I would be. I did not want to become him. I wanted to end him.

Seeing the fury on my face and hearing the growls coming from me only made him laugh.

"You can attack me, Edward. You can kill me, or you can remove my limbs and leave my body at the bottom of the ocean, just as you promised you would. But it won't change what you are. You will still be an evil creature. The only difference would be that I would not be around to remind you of it. You think you hate me, but you don't. You hate the part of yourself that reminds you of me. You're only going through an identity crisis, and the sooner you accept what you are, the sooner you will be at peace with yourself. We all go through it when we are young to this life.

"And one more thing before I go. I said that I would leave Anna alone. I will keep my word on that, unless the Volturi become involved. If they were to somehow become suspicious about her, I will end her immediately. I do not take any chances with them. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head, no longer in the mood to talk.

"Do you know how to take care of that?" he asked pointing to Clara's body.

I again nodded.

"Good. I have to be somewhere this morning, so I will leave you to it," he said, and then turned to walk away a second time.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to prepare myself to dispose of Clara. I took off my jacket shirt and shoes, and buried them in the sand, as I usually did before taking a body into the water. I lifted the body into my arms and walked toward the ocean.

Right before I was about to step into the water, I heard, "I would not do that if I were you." The Count had started to return.

"Then what would you do?" I asked annoyed. His correction of me was becoming trite.

"Bring her back here," he instructed.

I did as he said and placed her back on the ground.

"Tell me, what is the biggest consequence of hiding a body?" he asked, now acting like a patient school teacher.

I picked the answer he was looking for from his mind. "There is usually someone who will be looking for it."

"Correct. Now is Clara someone of importance in the city?"

"Yes."

"And will her rich father do anything to keep an investigation going on until she is found?"

"Yes."

"And, in our world, is that a positive, or a negative?"

I sighed. "A negative."

"Correct again! No wonder you have never made a mistake. You are so smart!" he exclaimed jovially. He was so annoying.

"Can you get on with it?" I asked, not masking the annoyance I felt.

Alex chuckled before he continued. He was having fun. At least one of us was.

"Sometimes we have to hide a body. Especially if the bite marks are precise and the body is drained of blood. It raises too many questions in the coroners office."

"Uh huh." So glad to be taught what I already knew.

"But look at Clara. She has no visible wounds and all her blood is still intact. That is, unless you wanted to take advantage of the situation. I know it's about time for you to feed."

"No thanks."

"Very well, then. There is no reason to not let someone find her. It will give the family closure and prevent the investigation from getting out of control."

"But she only has a snapped neck. That doesn't really look like a normal murder either," I argued.

"So we rough her up a bit," he stated as he started punching and kicking at the body, causing significant bruising.

I watched the brutality with thinly veiled disgust. Of course, the count found amusement in my expression.

"You know it has to be done," he stated.

"And you do know that the coroner will be able to tell that those bruises are postmortem, right?"

"Well, you are a smart one, aren't you?" he asked, actually impressed that I knew that. "Most bodies that are dragged and dropped into dumpsters have plenty of postmortem bruises. They will go nicely with the bruising she should already have when I held her too tightly and shoved her into you," he admitted smiling. "Now, what was that you said to me the other day? You would always be a step ahead of me, or something along those lines? Well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

Oh god, how I really hated him. How had he become my unofficial mentor?

"Won't her parents know that you were the last person seen with her?" I asked, unsure how much he really thought this through.

"Oh Edward. Come now. You think I actually let them see me escort Clara away? Who do you think I am? You? Her parents will think she fled the house due to there fighting, and then she got abducted by one of the cities many dangerous criminals. But thanks to you, the number of dangerous criminals is decreasing! I'm sure the mayor will give you the key to the city."

I don't think I had ever been patronized so much in one night. The Count really was a dramatic freak.

"Now I really must go. You transport her to the dumpster. I already did the hard part for you." Again he turned to walk away.

I sighed, for the thousandth time that night, and retrieved my clothes and shoes. I started putting everything back on when the Count shouted one last thing over his shoulder.

"Enjoy telling Anna how you are responsible for her friends' death. That should be fun. Give her my regards and tell her I will see her at the funeral." He chuckled one last time before he finally took off.

My face fell into my hands in defeat. How would I tell Anna this? If I thought she would hate me before for not keeping my promise, she would surely hate me now.

I contemplated not telling her anything and never seeing her again. Avoiding her could have worse consequences, though. She could tell someone else about everything and the Count would kill her. One innocent life on my hands was enough. I couldn't believe I was so stupid tonight. How would I live with this?

I had to see Anna again, and soon. I had to make sure she kept her promise to me so I could keep her safe. I decided that I would see her as soon as possible.

With my decision made, I finished buttoning my jacket and picked up Clara's body, now looking for the nearest dumpster.


	7. Chapter 7

"Where the hell have you been?" Anna shouted as she threw her hands out to shove my chest. I easily caught her wrists.

"That's not a good idea," I told her. Anna forcibly pulled her hands back with an angry grunt. I had expected her anger. I knew as I was scaling her building, tonight, that she had been seething about "that stupid, beautiful vampire". However, I was sure that after I would tell her of Clara's death, Anna would most certainly no longer see me as something beautiful.

After I had disposed of Clara's body in a Brooklyn dumpster, I spent the rest of the day contemplating how I would tell Anna what had happened. I needed a clear head, so a decent meal was in order. It was convenient that a wanted fugitive was taking refuge in the same alley I found the dumpster in. I threw his body in along with Clara's. It would now appear that Clara was only in the wrong place at the wrong time when vengeance was taken on the fugitive. At least that was what I was hoping for.

"It's been five days! Five days! Why didn't you come back? You promised you would be here four days ago. "

"I was busy," I replied lamely.

"Ugh, you're such a typical man," Anna stated with disgust. She turned away from me and started rummaging through her belongings, putting away things she had used in the day. "Let me give you a tip, Edward. When you make a promise to a girl, you keep it. You don't ever be 'too busy'. That is, unless you want to stay single for the rest of your life."

"I'll keep that in mind. I didn't—"

"If you were going to be five days, why didn't you just say so? Or perhaps send a message letting me know of your change in plans? I'm sure that within the past few days you had time to do that."

I sighed in defeat. She was right. I could have done that. I could have found a way to let her know.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't think that you would want me to come back." I, again, went for honesty with her. She was the only person to know the truth about me. It was refreshing to not have to lie. I could be myself with her.

"Why would you think that?"

I only shrugged in response. Seeing the sincerity in Anna's thoughts, I now felt embarrassed at voicing my insecurities about her possibly regretting her pleas for me to return to her.

"I was so worried about you. I thought that Alexander had…just don't do that to me again," Anna said, demanding.

I nodded in response. I couldn't believe that she was worried about _me_. She knew that there was a sadistic vampire after her and she was worried about _me_. I contemplated calling into question her sanity, but thought better of it. She only had a kind heart.

"So what have you been _so_ busy with the past few days?" Anna asked, now showing playfulness instead of ire.

"Being stuck in my apartment during the day, and chasing the Count all over the island at night."

Anna's eyes went wide. "Why have you been chasing him?"

"He's been too close to your house. I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you. He posed too much of a threat, so I figured keeping you alive was more important than placating your extreme desire to see me." I couldn't help but tease her a bit.

Anna paled when she thought about what my statement meant. I could now see what kind of fear my absence elicited this week. If Alex had killed me, then Anna would no longer have a protector. She was up at night—scared of who would come in her window. I felt stupid for not thinking of that.

"Anna, I'm so sorry. I should have let you know what I was doing."

"He's going to continue this, isn't he?" she asked, scared to know the truth.

"You don't have to worry about that. He won't be a problem for you."

"You killed him?" she asked with shock.

"No. He's alive, but he won't be a problem for you."

"How do you know?"

I didn't know what to tell her to convince her. I didn't just want to say "he promised". That would not go over well with her. I also didn't want to tell her that I knew he was telling the truth because I could read his mind and instantly know if he was lying. I didn't want to tell her about my ability, only because I didn't want the Count to find out about it if he may be overhearing. That was information best left to myself, as far as he was concerned.

"He no longer has use for you. Let's just leave it at that."

"What does that mean, he no longer has use for me?" she asked with insult in her tone.

"It means that you had a purpose for him before. You served that purpose; therefore, you are no longer needed. It's as simple as that. You have nothing to worry about," I explained.

"But you just said that he posed a threat to me."

"Yes, he did. But he doesn't anymore. He won't come for you, I swear it."

Anna gave a small huff. "You really expect me to put a lot of trust in you."

I leaned against the wall and folded my arms. "Well, I do know a lot more about vampires than you, so…"

Anna narrowed her eyes and threw a pillow at me. I let it hit me in the face to make her feel better.

"That wasn't nice," I admonished. "Violence is never the answer."

"Says the vengeful vampire," she said teasingly as she retrieved the pillow to replace back on the bed.

"How is it that you accept everything about me so coolly?" I had to know. She had no problem throwing the term vampire around without thinking it odd that one was standing right in her room.

Anna's thoughts turned to some of her favorite books from when she was growing up. She loved stories involving anything that regarded the supernatural. It had given her a nice escape from her strict, debutant upbringing. Her favorites always had someone who had abilities, beyond that of the average human, who used them for good. She related me to some of her favorite characters and felt a familiarity with my presence. She really wasn't thrilled with what her life had given her and found that same escape, which she did as a child, in me.

"What's not to accept? You are just like everyone else, with only a few quirks," she answered.

Anna noticed the dark change in my expression. I wouldn't quite call the things I was drawn to do _quirks_.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make your existence sound trite. It's just that I don't hold prejudices. You are what you are, and that's it. Whether you're happy with it or not, you can't deny that you are a good person." Anna really had no idea what she was talking about. I looked away from her and tried to keep myself from doing things that would prove her wrong. I knew what I was. Anna rolled her eyes.

"What? Now what is wrong with what I said?" she asked impatiently.

My eyes locked on hers in a way that made her heart jump and breath stutter. Anna froze under my gaze—recognizing the monster looking back at her.

"If I was a good person, I wouldn't elicit that kind of reaction in you," I stated bluntly.

Anna huffed and shook her head. "You only caused a moment of fear because you wanted to. Anyone can do that, not just vampires. Come here."

I obeyed Anna and approached her. She turned me to face her full length mirror, then smoothed out my shirt sleeve and linked her arm in mine. I would have been uncomfortable with the gesture, but she was only being friendly. I found myself, again, reveling in the small amount of affection she was showing me.

"Hey, look at that. You have a reflection," she pointed out. It was then my turn to roll my eyes. She giggled.

"Now look at yourself, "Anna instructed.

With a sigh I did as I was told. I started to learn that opposing the things Anna said came with a dose of futility.

As I looked at my reflection, I grew uncomfortable with the exercise. I hated looking in mirrors. I did it as little as possible. The only things I ever saw when I looked at myself were the changes becoming a vampire had made to my human form. Especially now that I was again accosted with these red, demon eyes, I was painfully reminded of the disparity I felt at the beginning of this existence. The color not only represented the lives of those I took, but also of my own death—a death without peace, a body never laid to rest, and a motionless heart that will always mourn the love and life that used to reside in it.

"Now, I see a perfectly nice, handsome young man," Anna said, obviously seeing something completely different than I was. "His hair is a little messy, but, still, he's nice enough," Anna continued, and I smirked at her statement.

She smoothed her free hand over my hair in a useless attempt to bring some control to the disarray. She narrowed her eyes at it when it rebelliously bounced right back to where it was. I could not hold back my chuckle.

"Why does it do that?" she asked, perplexed. I motioned for her to have a seat on the bed, while I sat in front of her on the floor. I was happy to be away from the mirror. I knew I had to tell Anna about Clara, but I was enjoying the interaction with her. I didn't mind putting the conversation off for a while.

"It was always a bit unmanageable," I started, "even more so after I was turned."

Anna's interest peaked. She was excited to finally get some details about my existence.

"Why?" she simply asked. It was a question I had asked myself after I noticed the difference.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I have a theory. When the change takes place, some physical attributes can change slightly, but we are essentially frozen the way we are. When I was changed, I was on the verge of death. The Spanish Influenza had wiped out a lot of people at the time. The symptoms of that illness are horrifying. The fever was so high that it caused significant sweating. I remember my mother, or sometimes a nurse, constantly wiping it off my face. Anyway, by the time I was turned, my hair was a disgusting riot. I'm guessing that whatever direction the hairs were laying is how the follicles grabbed and froze the hair in place."

Anna listened with rapt attention. I didn't know that a conversation about my hair could be so interesting.

"Your mother had to watch you suffer?" she asked sympathetically.

"Not for long." Anna waited for me to elaborate. "She died before me."

"Oh my God, and your father?" she inquired, almost afraid to ask.

"He died before my mother."

"Any siblings?"

"No. I was an only child."

"You poor thing."

I was always uncomfortable responding to sympathy, so I shrugged, and said nothing, waiting for Anna to spout off one of the many questions brewing in her mind.

"You said that physical attributes change. What did you mean by that?"

"Well, we have to be alluring to our prey, so some of our features become perfected, and muscle tone becomes more defined. My nose, for example, was never this straight. It was actually slightly crooked."

"What else?" Anna asked, intrigued. It was as if one of her remembered stories was coming to life right in front of her.

"My jaw became more defined, as did my cheekbones. My complexion became flawless, and not to mention as pale as your bed sheets. It was very disconcerting seeing my reflection for the first time after I was turned."

"Why does the skin turn so pale? Alex is the same way."

"Because the body dies. I have no blood running through my veins, so there is nothing to bring oxygen to the skin cells which would give them color."

Anna's face glowed with fascination. She wanted to retrieve a pen a paper to write everything down so she wouldn't forget, but decided it best to wait until I left so she would not make me feel uncomfortable. I was going to have to subtly inform her of the danger of having evidence of my kind around the house.

"If blood doesn't run through your veins, does that mean your heart doesn't beat?"

I held out my wrist in answer. Anna took it and depressed her two fingers to the vein showing prominently there. After finding no pulsating, her shocked eyes met mine. She then came off the bed and reached for my neck, again searching out the pulse point.

"There's really nothing there," she said in amazement. "Your body really is dead, by clinical terms, anyway."

I nodded in response as Anna sat back on the bed.

"If your body is frozen, will you never grow older?"

"No."

"Then how long will you live?"

"Until someone tears me apart."

Anna took a moment to contemplate the term forever. She was torn between being enthralled with the idea and also the reality of a tedious life never coming to an end.

"Does forever scare you?" she asked carefully.

I wasn't expecting her question and it caught me off guard slightly. She touched on a topic that I didn't like to spend time thinking about.

"Yes. Anything unknown scares me. I'm only twenty seven years old, so I haven't been around long enough to feel what it's like for someone my kind to go decades or centuries trying to stay entertained. On the other hand I have already experienced almost eleven years without changing, and if I try to contemplate what even just a few more decades like that will be like, it makes my head spin. I may go insane thinking about forever."

"Do you know any old vampires that can tell you what it's like?" she asked, trying to offer up some kind of help for me.

"I do. He advised to keep busy. The mind has the capacity for constant learning. Even if the body shows no change, the mind can always evolve and grow, and that is what will consistently bring us to new experiences and keep us from losing ourselves." The pain was evident in my voice. I was, in no way, following that advice. I chose a different path. But in my defense, it was the only that path that made sense for me.

"That sounds like good advice. He must know what he's talking about if he's been around for a long time. You should listen to him."

"I usually do," I said with my eyes downcast.

"What do you mean by usually? When do you not listen to him?" I guessed that it was the time I would explain how my rebellion from Carlisle was what led me to making the mistake that took Clara's life. Words could not describe how much I did not want to do it.

"I did everything he told me to do for ten years, up until about six months ago. He's not always right about everything. His ideals, while they work for him, aren't easily implemented on others of our kind. I don't think that I should have to abide by them only because he does. I was impressed that I was able to do it for a decade, but his way of life is not for me."

"Way of life?" Anna was perplexed at the phrase.

"I mean how he chooses to sustain himself. He doesn't drink the blood of humans," I explained. "Vampires can actually survive on animal blood."

The expression on Anna's face at that statement was actually comical. She mimicked the confused appearance of a dog with her head cocked drastically to the side. It caused me to bark out a small laugh.

"Was that a joke? You are kidding, right?" she asked, not able to believe me.

"No, it's not a joke. It's true. Animal blood sustains us. It's not palatable, or very quenching, but it keeps us healthy, you could say."

"So you're telling me that the first ten years you spent as a vampire you killed animals, and for the past six months you've been killing people?"

"Yes," I whisper. Hearing someone say it to me provokes the same shameful feelings that voicing my opinions to Carlisle had in the past. I still haven't been on my own long enough. I was certain that those feelings would go away once the lessons Carlisle had ingrained in me had enough time to fade away.

I know Anna caught the shameful tone of my voice, but she chose not to address it. She decided that my inner turmoil was a conversation best left for another time.

"So, I assume you enjoy killing people more?"Anna asked.

"No," I answered quickly. I was actually disgusted at her assumption. "I don't enjoy killing at all—animal or human. And I certainly would not choose the death of person before an animal. But that is coming from the human that still resides in me. However, if you want to talk to the monster, who no longer wants his appetite curbed, he will tell you something different." My words got softer as insecurity started to take over my speech. I was afraid that Anna would think me insane.

"Like a dual personality?" she asked, guessing at what I was trying to describe. I took a moment to contemplate her assumption.

"I wouldn't quite say it's that extreme. It's more like having a human mind coupled with animalistic instincts. With a dual personality, one personality is more dominant than the other at any given time. With vampires, both the mind and the monster are present at the same time. We are always aware of what desire comes from which entity. My mind knows well enough that killing another creature is a horrible thing. However, the monster demands it. It's a strange battle to have to get used to."

I let Anna have a few moments to mull over what I had said. She had a hard time seeing me as someone who would be described as a monster. She thought that 'animal hunter' was a better fitting lifestyle for me.

I was distracted away from Anna's generous musings by her father coming home. As soon as he entered the house he began looking for Anna, thinking about the important, tragic news he had to tell her. She should not have been finding out from him. I was supposed to tell her. It was, after all, my fault—my responsibility.

He was making his way up the stairs, and I had to decide whether I was going to stay in Anna's room and hide, or just leave and come back another time, or not at all. I didn't know what Anna would want. I started to stand.

"Where are you going?" Anna asked, not wanting me to leave.

"Your father is coming to talk to you."

"How do you know?"

"I can hear him," I explained. I didn't think his footsteps on the wooden stairs were quiet enough for a human to hear.

"No. I meant, how do you know it's my father and that he wants to talk to me?"

I stared speechlessly at Anna for a moment, feeling utterly stupid at my own blunder. Why did I only assume that her question meant that she didn't hear her father approach when I should have been listening to her thoughts to see what she was really asking? Why did I have to be so unobservant?

Quickly sifting through the minds that were in my range of hearing, I listened to hear if the Count was close enough to have heard what just happened. I didn't think he was. I was sure that I would have picked up on him by now, but I couldn't be too careful when it came keeping my ability a secret. Just having Anna know about it would be dangerous enough. With all the questions she liked to ask, she would probably bring it up at any random moment that she would think of it. That was a risk that I was not willing to take.

Anna noticed my dumbfounded expression which brought her some suspicion. She wanted to demand that I answer her question, but was interrupted by a gentle knock on her door.

"Anna," her father said through the door. "Are you still awake?"

"Yes, Father, I was just changing for bed," Anna answered.

"I need to speak with you. Join me in my study when you are finished."

"All right, I'll just be a few moments."

"Take your time. I have some work to do that will keep me busy," her father instructed. He was grateful to have a distraction before he spoke with Anna. He wasn't the only one who didn't want to tell her of her friend's death.

"That's odd. He never asks to speak to me privately at this time of night," Anna mused to herself, and then brought her gaze back to me. She watched me as I stared at the floor, unable to look at her. I was running through different excuses I could use to explain how I could have known what I did, but nothing seemed feasible, and would only spur more questions that I wouldn't have the answers to.

Anna's mind was busy attempting its own conclusions. When she decided that the expression on my face looked 'guilty' is when she assumed that I was hiding some kind of information from her.

"Do you know what my father wants?" she asked. She was too smart for her own good. Well, my own good, really.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. I didn't want to break my honest streak with her.

"Do you know because you have knowledge on what he wants to talk to me about, or because you have a _way _of knowing?"

That was a very dangerous question. Anna was getting to close to the answer to it. Luckily, I could answer her in a way that was still honest and not lead her to the secret I wanted to keep.

"I'm involved," I stated.

"My father knows about you?" she asked confused.

"No. He doesn't know that I'm involved."

"I don't understand," Anna said, her confusion growing deeper.

I decided that it would be best for her father to tell her. If I told her, then she would already be upset and have to try to act surprised at receiving the news a second time. That would have been a cruel thing to put her through. Having to deal with the death of a friend was bad enough.

"You will when your father explains," I said softly. I was scared of what Anna would assume when she heard the story. "You should go talk to him, and not leave him to wait."

"Will you stay? I will probably have questions for you after I talk to Father."

I eyed the window warily. "I should probably leave," I suggested, and Anna's features fell. "I'll come back."

"I've heard that before," she said skeptically.

"I promise."

"I've heard that before, too."

With a defeated sigh, I sat back on the floor. "I'll stay."

Anna smiled as she stood up from her bed and approached her door. She turned the knob to open it, but paused to turn back to me.

"Edward?"

"Yes," I acknowledged.

"Don't think I didn't notice that you never denied not having a way of knowing things." The widening of my eyes told her that her assumption was right. "That is called a lie by omission, by the way."

With that she left the room, leaving me to sit and think about how much of a damn screw up I was.

I flopped onto my back to lie on the floor, and in that moment that I vowed to myself that I would become the most meticulous and careful vampire that ever existed. After the whole situation with Anna and Clara was over I would not get involved with another human ever again. I would leave Anna alone and no longer mix up her life with the turmoil that I brought into it. I would be a ghost, disappearing from her life just as quickly as I came into it.

I would forget about all my entertainments. No more concerts, plays, movies, or books—nothing that a human would do. I wasn't human and didn't deserve those things. They were a distraction, and my recent actions proved that that they did more harm than good.

It turned out Alexander was right. I would not be able to keep my humanity and live this life. Therefore, I would give up all of it. I would concentrate my existence on the sole thing a vampire should be concerned about: blood.


End file.
